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 Dec 2018 Ximena
Maria Etre
If I see it
then it is

If I hear it
then it is

If I taste it
then it is

If I read it
then it's
a different
story
If I see what you see, and they see it too, that doesn't mean I am crazy!
 Dec 2018 Ximena
Elliot
Please **** me.

I've been suicidal since the day I was twelve
Can't seem to escape the voices
There's no place for me here

Please **** me.

This is as good as it gets
And it's bad
So bad

Please **** me.

Guess I'm used to it all
I think it's normal
That anyone could live my life

Please **** me.

I'm too cowardly
I won't do it myself
But I wouldn't mind you doing it

Please **** me.

I am sorry
It was never my intention to hurt you
I just can't take it anymore

Please **** me.

This sounds like a suicide note
It isn't
It's a wish

Please **** me.

I am sorry

Please **** me.
 Dec 2018 Ximena
Marissa
The ghost of the night,
Out to get me in plain sight.

Can't stop,
Stop,
STOP...

Pacing,

Back and forth
And back and forth.

Standing at the sink
Looking up to see
Something I cannot believe.

He stares me down,

Taunting,

"You're only a little boy, who I've been wanting."
 Dec 2018 Ximena
astiani hayn
Lunacy
 Dec 2018 Ximena
astiani hayn
there's a monster in me.
it keeps whispering things. so loud. that my mind could burst anytime soon.
inhabit, control, taking over; messing me up inside.
oh mama, i must obey it,
the one i shouldn't commit.
oh mama, how could i live?
in a body i cannot forgive.
please mama, bring some water; pour me the rain, a very heavy rain.
embrace me, hug me, drown me—wiped it all the monster away,
i don't think i could find any other way.
it's a world mental health today, so here a piece of mine that talks about schizophrenia. I haven't meet one, but seeing all who's suffering ****** through online videos just really break my heart. Mental health issue is real and it's matters. And please everyone if you happened to read this, kindly donate what you can afford and above all, what your heart says. No matter how much it cost, it will matters, and they deserve all of our prays. Thank you
 Dec 2018 Ximena
Asominate
I'm too despressed to notice I'm stressed out
Suppressed emotions inside, shouldn't let out
Seeing is believing but what I see isn't real
I am forced to accept these "realities" and ignore the way I feel

I don't mean to sadden, entertain, bore, or aggravate,
For a decade I find that this is how I communicate
The only way I can precisely speak out on the unhealthy pleasures
As the chemicals of my brain, they fornicate

These levels of relationships aren't supposed to be
It'll **** me sometime later, look at how it has ruined my personality
Seeing is believing, but you won't believe what I see
How can I act 'normal' when you won't acknowledge I can't do 'human being'

My animalistic compulsions are fuelled by my failing brain functions
Don't get too close cause I'll try to bite, I sympathise for your flesh when I malfuntion
Don't be scared, I'm not canibalistic, I just like to use my teeth
Humans scare me, I must defend myself, uh, I mean, to smile and eat

I'm not afraid to say it, but I'm scared when I'm saying it, I have to say
I have been observing your mundane human actions, I really don't want to be put away
I always feel foreign, alienated, out-of-place
But because I'm "considerate," I have to bite my tongue to save me some face

I'm too stressed out to notice that I'm depressed
Wanting mental soundessnes, yes, peace, my hallucinations don't give me rest
My taughts speed down their highway, my delusions are always a-fest
They inflict beneath my exterior, but for the public eye, I wear a crest

"I wear my skin well, don't you think?" I lie, becuase it ill-fits
I am totally normal, "I'm fine." Can't change the fact I'm a misfit.
The beams that bear my bag of meat rust and thus begin to weaken
The lethal sagging's caused by the mental luggage, I'm not heard, even though I'm speaking

Many persons think that I'm overly paranoid, I must admit, that I am
You would be the same way too, if about your health, no one ever gives a ****
Help doesn't come, because their 'laters' always becomes 'nevers'
I am not that superhuman, can't keep myself together, forever

They claim that they would help me, some way, somehow, but their actions never initiate
Someday, sometime, it would all be over, through a thorough death physical or mental
Oh yes, I'm still believing, you can't accuse me of not having faith.
I look forward to my healing, but all the while, my brain chemicals fornicate.
 Dec 2018 Ximena
Sabrina
Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly,
That's what they called her.
She'd run around in her white gown,
thinking no one could touch her.
Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly,
That's what she'd heard.
As all the people around town tried to control her
Didn't even exist, but people could see her
Her non-existent heart wrenched as she watched people around her.
Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly,
That's what she'd seen.
Figured she'd put them all out of their misery,
Red splattering her gown,
As they bowed down like she were their queen.
She was the talk of town,
As she ran around
Now that she knew she could only be seen
By those who weren't sane in the brain
How cruel of this world to be so mean
Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly,
That's what they called her.
Her white gown turning brown from the dirt of the world around her
Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly,
Just a ghost of what those who wanted help wanted.
A cruel reality-check,
They were all haunted.
Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly,
That's what she'd been seen as
Her ghostly form
She showed no remorse
As she left them in the dirt
Pretty Dolly,
Pretty Dolly.
I don't know what this is tbh, figured it had a nice catch to it, so I wrote.
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