i haven't been able to write as much since you came back in my life
what little i have written, it's been about you
i think the reason why is due to the fact
that the only art i care about anymore is sitting right in front of me
nothing i create or think up, even on a really good day
could ever be as breathtaking as you
i'm trying to figure out what i can do because your all i seem to think about
and i don't even want to try writing about you
because then i will be going on for centuries
and never be done talking about how wonderful you are
don't even get me started on how i feel about you
that would be an endless cycle of me stating how in love with you i am
i'm trying to figure out what to do
because i'm always thinking about you and craving your attention
and i don't know how to express how spectacular you are
or how sincere i'm being when i tell you i adore you
i know none of my writing for you will ever me a masterpiece
but hopefully one of these days, you will see how i love you so

"it's okay.
grades don't mean everything.
you'll be okay, stop stressing out over small things that can be fixed.
it's okay to cry over nothing.
do you want a hug?
in a few years, this won't mean a thing.
breathe, deep breaths.
it's okay,
you'll be okay."

oh, lost childhood
innocent, sweet, and vain
i traded away my maidenhood
for a life of listless pain.

although reckless naievity
assuredly slipped away
so did the warm festivity
of existing without shame.

no longer can bedside fables
enchant a wonderous mind.
for i have traded my maidenhood
and left all past behind.

i need you to just look for a moment
i need you to just take a step back and see what i'm seeing
i need you to know the type of person that you're becoming
i need you to focus on becoming the person that you should be
you are a good person.
i can see it in you and i know you do too
but you are trying so hard to keep all of it hidden away
stop trying to hide this person inside of you
you are better than what others say about you
you are strong and caring and fearless and passionate
your intelligence is not the only thing that defines you
you are worth more than just your vocabulary
you try so hard to hide the good side
but deep down you know you can't keep it away
stop trying to cover up who you really are
let go for a moment and finally free yourself.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never go home again.
My room will sit unused,
A capsule frozen in time,
A snapshot of how I was.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my dog again.
She will sit at the front door
Waiting for me and wondering,
Why I never came home.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never graduate from high school.
My yearbooks will sit stacked
Stopped short of their goal,
Missing years that should have been.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my mom again.
She will sit distraught,
Planning a funeral
For a child taken from her.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my friends again.
They'll sit together, missing me.
One empty seat among them,
A constant reminder of their loss.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my little sister again.
She will sit through high school
Knowing I can't guide her through,
That she has to figure it out alone.

If I die in a school shooting
My school will be stained.
Pools of students lives will sit,
Blood tattoos on the brick structures,
Marks of death ground into it.

If I die in a school shooting
Everyone will wear black.
They'll send their thoughts and prayers
To a town marred by death,
Forever to be the home of a shooting.

If I die in a school shooting
Will the world change?
Or will I become one of hundreds  
Of kids who have to die?
What will it take?

If things continue this way
Children will have to live in fear.
They'll look over their shoulders
Always worried and wondering,
If they'll die in a school shooting.

strained is
supposed to be
a word
for pasta
not
relationships.

i like bugs.
they remind me
that life is important
on a small scale.
even the most frustrating
are beneficial to nature and
our ecosystem wouldn't be the same
without them.

except mosquitoes.
they can **** right off,
the ***** bloodsucking *******.