I am so sick of being used
Torn down and abused
betrayed and bruised
but they say at least I have a use

God, You are uprooting me.
You are taking me from a place where I knew everything
To a place where I don't know anything.
I don't know where to go
Or who to be.
I don't know people anymore-
Just names and faces.
I miss the comfort of my home-
The sweet relief knowing that I was surrounded
Embraced
Known
Loved.
I am human after all.
I like my comfort.
I relish my comfort.
I crave my comfort.
I protect my comfort.
But You?
You are taking me out of my comfort.
You have taken my hand and led me past the precious walls of my security.
You are breaking down my walls.
You are breaking down me.
& I am scared.
God, I am so scared
Because You have never asked this of me.
You have never told me to go four hundred and five miles away from home.
You have never told me to leave my family and friends and church.
You have never told me to uproot myself.
Yet that is exactly what I am doing.

God, you are uprooting me.
You have brought me to a place where I am forced to know nothing.
But
I'm starting to accept that my knowing nothing is right.
I need to know nothing
But You.

(read forward, then backward, line by line)

I ran.
Not knowing what else to do
There was so much blood on my hands
It was mine
The kitchen knife
Caught in my chest
Guilt
Consumed by
Fear
I was heightened by
Adrenaline
But running on
Wasn’t enough
While trying to stay calm,
Losing control
It was me that would end up
Dead. Because
He was
In front of me
The whole time
It was too late
Trapped
I found myself
Locked in chains
My fate was
Death.

Wishes are dreams
They appear and fill you with hope
But when they disappear, they show you the worst

Your father said make a wish
You did
You wished for mother to come home
Your father smiled and said Dreams are not wishes, be realistic