You are so much to lose;
and for how I've gained
I'll accept all your burdens,
sorrow and pain;
but is it worth it for you?
with all my mistakes
I know they've caused you

melancholy and disdain.


It's mid-December,

but it feels like spring
such as the world, we are an
odd, complicated thing.


I just can't see you seeping
anything useful from me.
I am the raging forest fire that

mercilessly swept across the trees.


Lovely,

I don't mean to burn you,
I simply try to breathe


I can't help that it's within my nature
to destroy everything I meet


in time
with a heavy laden heart
my love

you'll fall to ashes at my feet.

How do you sleep at night
All the stuff you did ain’t right
You cheated and you lied
It’s known about far and wide
Every day more comes to light.

How do you hold up your head
You should be ashamed instead
You’re the cause of many quarrels
You have few detectable morals.
Your honesty balance is in the red.

We all know all we get from you
Is promises that won’t come true,
You don’t care about any one else
All the matters to you is yourself.
You’re outrageous trash in all you do.

So how do you live with yourself
As Santa Claus’s very nastiest elf?
Every rule you choose to break
Is based on whatever you can take
Regardless of hurting someone else.

Wishing you bad usually isn’t cool
But in your case I’ll break that rule
Since you so often serve up hate
What you deserve is that same rate.
I’m polite, but I am nobody’s fool.

So, I hope you get exactly what
The people you have cheated got
That you end up with just a stone
And spend your time all alone
With your hopes and dreams all shot.

I write this with an open heart,
Even though I have no where to start.
My pain & heartbreak know no bounds,
A body so weary & a head that pounds.

I’m drowning my sorrows every single night,
Barely managing to function by saying “I’m alright”.
I was the one that ended our affair,
You told me you loved me yet don’t seem to care.

I’m lost & I’m broken without you here,
Yet every day with you I lived in fear.
I hoped by day 57 I’d be feeling better,
Instead of crying in bed drafting a suicide letter.

“Lee, I love you; I hate you” in the same breath,
I feel like an addict and you are my ****.
I don’t actually know how to move on,
How do I get over this entire love con?

The start of the healing process is in closure, don’t you find?
Not getting that is messing with my mind.
The overthinking & obsessing each and every day,
I need to know what you really felt in each & every way.

I wish I had an “off” button,
Or at the turn of a key,
Something as simple as flicking a switch,
And immediately forget you Lee.

Caught up in the fairytale
Captivated by the dream
I didn’t notice the warning signs
Or hear my subconscious scream

You manipulated & coerced me
Into falling in love with you
I honestly believed we were soulmates
Even when you couldn’t be true

One other woman is all it should’ve taken
For me to walk out your door
Several affairs over two years
And I finally said “no more”

A typical narcissist you are dating again
Finding solace in new supply & old
I know deep inside you’re as miserable as hell
And your heart is heavy and cold

I’ve made it to day 55 of silence
I haven’t attempted to pick up the phone
Of course I miss “us” whatever we were
But I know I’m better off alone.

You poisoned both my body and mind
You have actually broken my heart
Grieving for a person who is still alive
Is definitely the hardest part.

You say you hate his guts
Yet he's in all your poems
You talk of all his girlfriends
Yet you sit home alone
You count them off by name
Your own misery list
You can't ignore the facts
And we all get the gist
Why you think about this guy
Who has caused you so much pain
It's like setting yourself up
For an emotional drain
Loving someone who hurts you so bad
I have to wonder if maybe you're mad
It's just that you should know it is true
He may be the foe
But the enemy seems to be you