Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Johana Mislov Jul 2017
Humans accept the love they think they deserve...
and I hate myself.

Maybe that's why I always stayed.

I enjoyed the pain...
Thriving on the punishment... I abused myself,
so it never mattered if you joined in on the fun.

I crave the hurt...
desperate to feel anything at all,
the pain is better than endless nothingness.

Toxic yet addicted,
ruined yet held together... yours to destroy.
Johana Mislov Jul 2017
What’s tragic is I have a sweet soul.

It’s warm, forgiving and full of love for you
But I have to hate you. I no longer have a choice.
My choice was always to have hope, faith and love because these are the 3 things that last forever...
But you killed my hope, distorted my faith and abused my love…
and now I am a shell of the human I once was.

Even in those rare moments of kindness you now rain over me
There is sadistic intent. a war wages between my soul and flesh.

Is this love? or a lie...

Being in my presence is now destroying you as you once destroyed me.
You can taste the detest in the thick air that surrounds us, and it chokes the breath of the last glimmer of hope you held to.

My soul is still warm, sweet, forgiving and full of love for you...  
But it can’t be, it shouldn’t be, and I will no longer let it…

because loving you will be the death of me.
Narcissism... and the war of loving someone who is not good for you.

— The End —