(read forward, then backward, line by line)

I ran.
Not knowing what else to do
There was so much blood on my hands
It was mine
The kitchen knife
Caught in my chest
Guilt
Consumed by
Fear
I was heightened by
Adrenaline
But running on
Wasn’t enough
While trying to stay calm,
Losing control
It was me that would end up
Dead. Because
He was
In front of me
The whole time
It was too late
Trapped
I found myself
Locked in chains
My fate was
Death.

Dear Daddy,
Do you know what these men say to me?

With their
eyes and their mouths
when I walk on the street.

With a grin and a nod
and a look up and down.
A wink and a kiss
and a cat call heard from downtown.

With my skirt short
and my top
low,
It’s a cold world daddy
and no
doesn’t mean no.

Daddy do you know
how these men look at me?

Like I’m a piece of meat
strutting down the street?
With my head buds in
and my favorite song on.

I’m asking for it Daddy,
I’m in the wrong.

Do you know how it feels
not to wear what I like?

To walk a little faster
when I’m alone at night?

Daddy the world is my predator
and I am it's doe,
Daddy what happens
when I can’t say no?

you used to call me every morning,
but you've stopped.
...
now, every morning, i roll over
with your arms wrapped around me
welcoming me home.

{d.f.|08/01/17}

As we walk,
You tell me
that the silt from the river
has built up over the years
creating a new bank
with flowers
and plants
making the best of the rich soil.
As you speak,
I note the sound of your voice
and wish
I could sink in
and grow
like the foxgloves
in the mud.

I followed his footprints in the snow
Thinking his path was the way to go
He didn’t even seem to notice I was there
I spoke to him as we walked but he didn't care
I stopped at several places along the way
He just kept moving forward with nothing to say
After a while I felt so alone and so tired
And I began to drift further and further behind
Though I could still see him way up ahead
He turned onto another path to walk instead..
Eventually I realized I could no longer see
As he moved relentlessly on without me
His footprints start to fade and then they disappear
He never even knew I was near
I stood at the path he turned to walk on...
Unable to move forward
And I turn to walk...
Away...

*Maybe one day our paths will cross again

I splashed around the ***** room,
Dropping my knife onto my shoe.
Losing a toe, some dignity and a lot of pride.
I finally made some hot chocolate for tonight.

I couldn’t believe, the nightmares in there,
The smell of my burning skin in the heavy air.
As I melted onto the floor and grunted in pain,
That devilish pie was still laughing in my face.

I never came back, after that day,
Mainly because of my inability to bake.