I think I saw a cockroach underneath my sink
I wanted him to die
But it made me think

Think about what life means.
Meaning.
What is meaning.

He or she is not so bad
How he or she just lives.
Living is a struggle.
Living is a shiv in the ribs.

I never knew it would would take a girl for for me to grow.
I never knew that I would know so much about myself.

She taught me about bread and dogs.
To love life itself.

She was my most favorite piece.
Leasing all my love.
She took me. Took me on my knees.

I never felt love.
I never felt a girl.
Like. Like my dove. She made my heart unfurl.

It;s a wife shaped hole she left in my heart.
I'm trying to rebuild, but GOD it's hard to restart.
I just want to feed my friends... to help to make them live.
All I have is food, it's all I have to give...

She told me to calm down.
She told me to stay still.
She was my most favorite drug.
She was my xanax pill.

I took her with me everywhere.
She shook me late at night.
I laid in her house late in day.
God... I loved her. Loved her light

But she kept me as a pet.
Like a bird starved in a cage.
God...it's outrageous how my pain she could assuage.
I loved her, loved dearly
She made me a pie.
A pecan pie.
A pie taught by her mother.
God.. it made me cry.

I lost control.
It took a toll when I had to give her
Give her my mind and my food....

I found a man on the ground soaked in water life
Living with hungry brown bears in his brain.
He asked if I ever had felt what love a wife can give.

And I said I wish I never had. It's bad.
And I hate how much I hate her.
It's not what she deserves.
She was my most favorite and it's not what she deserves.
I Left her in a desert with dry hope and dead love.
My beloved left me because I killed her heart, the dove.

Terse history vibrated through my mind makings

In the fashion of wigged baroques I stoke a fired that filled my hearth

In the dead of night I unearthed true passion from skulls of dead families

It brought me to me knees when I saw silver on their neck

I wrecked coffins with my brain, i stained what life made good

But then I understood
Standing in the rain

I abstained from stealing
From stabbing myself with drugs that I was dealing

Alone in pain, I strained from feeling

I feel the dead, a well read infected sore.
I can feel now, I can adore.

Lots of passive passes
Living on a cliff side
Shoals, seagulls run around like squirrels
God I love the sound of life rushing around

Just trust loneliness
Adjust to lust for fear
Loving liars, living with hate
Abate sorries. Create stories
Catharsis is a species
Masochists list pain as love
Have a content look at horrible
and have a terrific funny funeral

If you really want to be funny
Don't have a sense of hate
Take back and don't take

What do you get when you have
when you have two
Englishmen with no donkies?

A pair of assless chaps.

I mention cost pretension
Ten
About ten I've had so far.

Like a gooses on a lake.
Like a lot of angry geese.
I've leased you hard felt portions.
In giving, I made it least.

Lasting on so little.
Like liver in a bag.
Bleeding onto to my friends.
I am such a drag.

But I won't belittle being
But about who I won't know
Knowing is a feeling
A feeling I feel, won't show

It's a gal
Glaring in the light
Like a mountain with some snow

It's blaring
Like a light
It's scary
God I hate what's right

It's staring
Into me
It's blaring cacophony

It's a bear
It's broke
It's a fire
I won't stoke

It's there
And there it is
It's right, so wrong, so is
What's I'm doing difficult?

Canned in bags
Lacking. Lags.
Stupid stags.
So silly is this drag.

I should just get breakfast
Break away from me.
Breaking from the sorry soul
So such is being free.

I love the sound of birds when I walk out the door
Early in the morning, it's what I adore
Worrying and seeming like I give a ****
So I act silly and so seeming, I am a big ham

Having heart is hurtful
But it can feel good
Asserting is a virtue
It's how I'm understood

Please pretend that I am perfect.
Please pretend it, send it please.
I'm am oh so brown.
I send life on my knees.

I take life like a whip
Stripping me from happy life
I live so adrift.
Like like it were a knife.
"That's life"

Its so melodramatic
And like can make me lay
When a knife reeks havoc
Is when on the ground I lay

Sometime.
There would be a time I would walk home.
And i would not let life stay.
Occasionally life sprayed away.
Like a cacophony.

Nice noise, ****** boys
Noise, boys, noise, boys.
****** ****** barrels.
It makes me so sterile.
Life on ears.
Like potent steers.
Will make aggro hearts so sterile.

God, godly
Good so gaudy.
Goodness, good have brought.

Gauly, galleries have a lot
I take my pence and a ***.

Potted in a plantern
Patterned in ***** herbs.
I don't fell my motion
My love is undisturbed

Let's let our life roll on
Let me feel nothing on
On an awful awning
on our deadly fawn
Sawn on deadly sawings
We should take upon
Upon our own aggressions.
Lessening our loud report
I don't distort her founding
I tried not to report.

But it hurts, it bleeds.
Ape great needly needs.
Lovely bloodly needles
Needing nice nancy ways
Caughted blood can make life thud
It's the only life we need.

I pretend that I live
I live in in a box
Only answering
To lots of anxious knocks

I live in glass globe
That makes me so perfect
I live a life in strobe
God it makes me sick

I don't want be
I won't be who I am
I won't let life so see
I bleed life like a lamb

How often
How dead
How instead
How it fells
How bullets
How much does lead poison
How much does noise begin to
How often hearts often make
How much does it rake?
How or may or not be dead?
How instead?
How often when I won't be there?

I've learned that being happy
Means how to stay away
From certainty and surliness
Frenetics is my way

I'm learning life won't let me live
in the way I stay away
Causing living life in uncertainty
Can only make you fray

Fraying like lived-in leather
Living in the snow
Life's what makes you shiver
Showing you what you don't know

So giant
God your nose
What gives you the right
to so much impose
All you eat is kibble
and you smell a lot like death
But you find some way to fiddle
With my heart, make me bereft

Your muzzle's cover in some goo
But you don't seem to care
I wake up to a story of
Who happened, happening in the air

I can smell it on you
But that's my own fault
I should've bathed,and fawned you
Would've taken my guilt off
Should've found a way to pawn you

But you're with me every day
And I know I owe you snacks
You make me live the worst life lays
Just joyness you attack

I read and study history
Almost every day
Like watching children have to learn
Learning how to play

History is how we know
Just what, and who we are
History is what we show
What we think is on par

Just because because it's happened
And just because it nests
Just because horror can happen
Doesn't mean feel bad, please don't rest.

History is our mother
And our father too
Life left in a basket
Is a foot without a shoe.

We hung out in a frozen bush
And listened to earbuds
Listening to others wish
They could start abuzz

Music is all over us
Music makes us cry
Music made us have to creep
Into strangers arms and try

Try we did
In snow we slid
I slid into a girl
She met me
Liked me
So she did
So my heart unfurled.

I sounded off of my back porch
Making mercy out of snow
Leaving livery in the air
I performed a show

Sounding off into to the sky
Try to be a bird
Sounding of, please please try
Lovers love a bird

Lovers love what makes them love
Avoid sad, and hater hate
Let life you give all of it's hugs
And shut hatred at the gate

It's hard to stay dark and empty
But it's easier in a lonesome house
Loneliness pretends to be
A cancer, a head louse
But it really isn't
It's not so bad for me
Being both bad and good
Can help a dead eye see
Seeing with a vision
That's not yours alone
Makes precision out of murky minds
And can help a lone heart make it home

Joy jostled just jitters
Kidding, kindness kindled
Lots, lowered lifted, leaving life, leaving love
Missing mindful mana, making mindbreak messes
Nothing nestles, nothing nests, Nothing needs no nowhere
Only owning our own oars, oaring on
People pawn past pieces
Quit quiting, queerly quizing
Row, Row roundly rays round
Softly shade. Sowing softness, sounds slick, so supple
Take timid, take trouble.

If you find me on the corner
You'll find me on me knees
I'll play you some music
I'll take a dollar please

I don't need really anything
But what life want's from me
I only pay what they think
It's worth to live and be

I have to eat and have to sleep
But really not much else
I can feel the payments creep
and ruin my sense of self

I want so much to just be free
To have no where to stay
To live in huts outside of me
No one to show my way

I lessened my practical protocol
When I met my Celeste
Calling a kinder creature
Calling me was my Celeste

A kindred part was stolen
She warmed my steely heart
My mind made me so sullen
But my grief she took apart

We had gathered wild greens
And gathered in the night
She slathered me with dreams and
She was my delight

Delighting in her aura
Soreness fled from me
Celeste had lessened my cold core
I again began to see

Stolen from a fever dream
She took love away
Life on a cliff side
Lifted her
But she fell, she fell from me

Lovely little girlie
Had fallen off a cliff
Her soul had settled my heart down
Laying, laid down a drift

So gentle soul, she took her toll
she took some life from me.

She took it with her when she fell
On bedrock last life she lay
I won't forget my sweet Celeste
I won't forget that day

I feel like I've blown my brain to bits
A blitzgrieg of what's left of it
The corpse of a dove I still keep in her cage
It's outrageous the pageant I put on the stage
Softness meets a ******* rampart
Flying in fire air
Blowing me apart

I've enacted a plan in my personal journal
Worrying and fretting is a fraternal ambition
My mission is that my dad can live on
My brothers can feel and feel what's on
His brother's brain
By that I mean I have to abstain
from self serving service
Love makes me impervious
to the shame and the guilt that life gives.

I told them I'm a was a boxer
Working graveyards for Federal Express
Lessening my emotions
Chewing tobacco in excess

Judgement. Guilt, Flirty
Those bases are begrudgingly
Logy, lackadaisical  pace
Send tracers out of guns
What fun can feel when I steal all my light from my dear sun

Moaning is a miter saw
Sawing on my face
Mooning is like cortisol
Doping me to win the race

There's as sense in my garden frozen
Hardened herbs and veggies
set me on a course of action
that will set a plan of course
Coursing courses of tiny plates
Tasting bits and pieces
Places released a faction face
Found in my patrons feces
Fevered fair cost a lot
Lots souled off of dead replaces
Chasing perfect is a lot
Like living in empty spaces

In an effort to make things more friendly everyone was instructed to leave their dogs at the party,
while the rest of us were kindly asked to go home.
Still, the cops showed up and no one spoke any English.
I mean they understood it well but lacked the proper capacity to carry on a conversation.
Still.
I've never seen a party look so happy when the K-9 unit finally decided to show up and make sense of the situation.
They were qualified.
Probably made the most sense, and should have brought those good boys out in the first place.
Still.
They licked every last inch of my face.
Real estate in skin is something to be graced with, not take unfinished.
Polishing cheeks in drool is the duty of dogs.
Goodness is like a gallon of pond water dredged from the bog.
Slaving away for canteens of nostalgia, patina.
My memories stay sealed in a golden marina.

That's why.
That's seems to be why I'm ******* all the time,
there usually is very little at the end of the road to be had.
I haven't felt so bad in winter wear,
but winter's here and now heat is what I've got to make
a part of my life.
Bearable things are what turn strife into fun.
Making runs onto lakes and fields.
I try to make the words sound like real leaves on puddle piles
Endearing doves mourn duck rapes, wild berry patches, thistle thatches.
So, twirling into a spiral.
Sinking into cones.
Pine trees stay sticky,
and climbing the big ones gets me home.

Bach likened hope to god
Lauding in laurels like a living legend
He's dead, real dead, it's odd
Oddly deadly ditties
Harp on hope and mindful mitigation
Irrigation sows such sounds in fields
Of hearts who can't be found
Fiddled at a clavichord
Fixated on a face
Looking at her clavicle
With music
Sweetness can erase
Erasing dubious dealings
Let them leave my face
I need to forget the girl
Forget my heart and race

Into it, light up on the world, she crested on mountain edges, bound barriers likened her to a sage in old legends.

Still, there it was, all night.
And there I was within sight of her.
And it was like there was a  pleasant air about the bar.
Everyone was friendly here.
Some people, in friendly ways, kindly kept their distance.
It was even, warming buffers.
Noise and those smiles that seem to adore two talking.
Set pace, even in the next space the volume was for being a part of one another.

She set a stage for me.
For us, I should say.
Because both of us had decided it was worth it to stay up late tonight.
With each other.
And why does that
feel like a proper decision?
It's because the exposure to the things that you like can actually make you happy.
Things can feel not so bad.
When there is someone to have an evening with.
And to even have someones ear.
Caring.
It's what begins to be done once evening staring has won over topics in conversation.
The air on the tongue and the skin in the lamp light is what actually matters tonight.
Any song can be sung, under proper conditions. Then the artists true vision can be heard on her ears.
Her hair.
I'm feeling the urge to stare and every one can tell that she might feel the same way.
But they haven't said anything.
Because there's nothing to say

Homelessness and Joblessness are brothers with a plan
Sanding hope off of boards
Making meal out of man

Sleeping under, over bridges
Sleeping in a can
Sleeping with the winter witches
Which person feels a pain
Which person can abstain
From feeling pain from people
Popping pills and stealing
Stabbing Stabbing
Choking Choking
Folks in dirt can feel.

I've been pulling chunks of snow and ice
out of my dogs toes
I've greased his paws, checked his maw
and evaluated the wetness of his nose

Requiring snacks and tennis *****
Fetching in a field
What a fetching wielder
of a happy heart
He'll stay when I have him heeled
How often he softens sullen hearts
and makes a sappy heart healed.

I'd love to live in a rat's nest
Besting the next rat next to me
Making meals of apathy
Slovenly licking off plague fleas
Please let me live in a rat's next
Living on cheese and liberal arts degrees.

Cilantro, lime, and lemon
Pinon, pickled flesh
Fistfuls of water women
Men wish it were more fresh

On an aluminum sheet tray
It's curing on the sheet tray
Living life preserved
In my own ceviche

Serve it with a garnish
Serve with silver please
Serve it on a sheet tray
Serve it on your knees

All the skin that covered
All the skin had died
After all I tried,
Turns out truth is how I lied

Living life in envelopes
Sitting on a couch
Over and In my lover
My heart is covered in a pouch

My fears are my strongest feelings
That I feel in my life right now
***** had seemed to help some how
Until it made me feel much more
Mourning makes my eyes sore
Don't think I don't feel normal
Face faces normally
Don't feel bad, I'm sorry
And my sorry's enough for me.

I made a point to poke a pinhole in the shade
to let a little light in.
How honest hearts hate home
Lonely, living life like little lizards
under a dome
under a rock
How I wish the garish light and wind would
Delight me by dowsing me in a dirt devil.
Locked in a replica of life
I'm ******. I'm ******.
My equal is a little homunculus
Clue me into why I try to live alone in a stone home
Humming as I cry. I don't ask why.
Lizards aren't for me. I'm a birdie that can't fly.

My brain my brain I cracked it
Autodidatic missions lessened feeling
crackled, wrecked, I wracked it
I wracked I wracked my brain
Stained in cacophony
Lacking in harmony
Hacking hacking
I wracked it
I wrecked my beautiful brain

What happened to your muzzle?!

Well... the neighbor had food.

Your snout is so wet!

I bet.

What about the pads on your paws?

I saw a cat.

What about the stickers?!

The whiskers...

What happened is that the world found out you're soft and pokeable!!!

Ughhhh....lord help your footpads and noseholes....

Dermible detritus set with us
tarps and oil
Soil set with toil
Boiled in bags of tripe
Chips and chicks who titter
Gave me pick of the litter
Loyalty has soiled me
and sent me unto hither

I ask you for a question
Lessen layman make me walk
Make me milk my maiden
Make me cut my stalk

Showy showman dyin'
I felt a lot like cryin'
Cause cousins cause the answer
I call it family cancer
Dancing with my girly
Surely felt so good
But death is still a dealin'
And it's dealin' good.

Digging in my files
I found a dust pile of papers made of people
A soy based type of parchment
Printed on it said, with blood red words it read:

We came from the promised land
In the form of four stages of man.
First there was a titan
Then frightened bugs and spiders.
Lying in a layman ocean
Choking on the Stalk
The Stalk that lead to three
Third in this story
Third was just the fishes
Flying in the sky
A skyhole broke the mission
of only fish glory
To get to number four,
it's said here in the lore,
Men and rats ate feces
but was Women saw the land
Tinsel made of sand
They'd been our lookout
They looked out for our species.

Well Done.
She said, but don't ***** it up. Its a start.
How could I?
Your sauciness drove right thru my heart.

Will you please be my bottom bun?
Baby, you're my seed number one.
Sesame wants Sesayou

Tardy to your selfworth day party
Salty, and peppered with hardy haught looks
I've overcooked this simple match up
Maybe baby I'm plain ketchup.

Misanthropic ipecac syrup stirred up in my belly
Jelly filled bow hunts
Haunted my head
****** doughnuts stopped me dead
I vomited a sonnet into tissues
Fuzzy stars seem to swish through
My larynx without time for healing.
Stealing good graces from her strawberry face
Is the only way I'm dealing

Shame is useless
like locks on wooden cages.
Cutting into heartbuilt buildings takes ages.
Laughter, she said, is courageous
I'm dead, I said, I can't assuage
The deep part you've pocketed
from my locker I left out open.

It'll only take a token to turn
My moody style into hysteria
My misery and you
His and her history too
Is best probably unspoken

Welcome to Rock Bottom!

We have nothing and space.

The space isn't free, nor is valuable.

Plus we have free parking!
Lots.

Please enjoy your stay at Rock Bottom.