I pretend to be okay,
But the truth is I'm far from it.
Life is so bizarre.
You always have to be up to par.

Even when you're trying to be yourself,
You're still being someone else.
Someone else shares your name,
And your style is the same.

When did different become alike?
Unique is now deceased.
When we think we're a leader,
In the end we're just a follower.

I hate everything you do to me.
I hate the way you look at me.
I hate the words you say to me.
I hate the way you love me.

I just want to escape you,
But I cant.
I find myself running back.
For some reason I love you.

So let's escape into hate.
Because I love the way I hate you.
This hate is passion,
And I can't get enough.

It consumes me.
I don't like it,
But I gave you my key.
This feeling throws me into a fit.

I hate other girls looking
I make up these scenarios in my head
I feel you have a plan cooking,
I cry alone in this bed.

I know you're good to me,
But I'm so broken.
This isn't how it's suppose to be.
I question every word that's spoken.

This feeling gets under my skin.
Please don't leave.
I just know the actions of other men.
It's so hard to believe.

This jealousy is me.
I'm sorry.

These tears I cry,
You will never dry.
Goodbye to your lies.
Now you get to watch our love die.

I stare in the mirror at this girl,
A girl who's lost her way.
I sit here, my mind in a swirl.
But weirdly I'm okay.

I look at the empty pill bottle,
And I know death fills me.
I'm empty like that bottle.
I know heaven may reject me.

I couldn't handle all the pains.
I'm weak.
The pills poisoning my veins.
A better place is what I seek.

These eyes watch me die.
I'm not afraid.
Actually I can't lie.
I'm very afraid.

Maybe this wasn't the best,
Maybe there was a chance for me.
Maybe it was all a test.
But now it's too late for me.

There's no saving me.

I try so hard to be the best,
But it seems my best is trouble.
I find myself making the same mistakes.
I tell myself no, but I lose control.

God are you still listening?
Have you given up on me?
Or am I giving up on myself?
The void in my heart is getting worst.

I'm surrounded by people,
But not by light.
Is heaven out of my reach,
Or is it too late?

All these questions,
Filling my head.
I reach out,
But nothing is there.

I don't want to live this way.
Save me from my mind.
Slipping away into insanity,
Are you there?

Am I worth saving?

Take a look in the mirror,
Look at the face displayed.
A face of beauty, that the eyes do not see.
Why?

Why can I never be good enough?
Society says that I am beautiful the way I am;
However pretty is what you must be.
Pretty gives you an easier way of life.

This face in the mirror,
What would it look like if I was actually me?
If I didn't change into what society wants me to be.
Would I even recognize me?

Exhausted of pretty,
There's a new trend everyday.
Acceptance is the key.
Look in the mirror.

Is this really me?
Are you really you?
Pretty is the key.
But is it me?

Opinions everywhere
They rip through my walls,
Exposing my fear.
To my knees I fall.

Be pretty they say
Wear this, wear that
But I'm just not wired the same way.
I don't want to be like that.

I'm careless
I carry beauty in my own way.
I'm a mess.
In my thoughts I stay.

Maybe I will never be the queen.
And maybe that's okay.

Four lovely walls,
Yet I feel trapped in this silence.
I long for the light that calls.
But still nothing but silence.

How can that be?
So quiet, but I'm screaming.
No one can hear me.
My eyes no longer gleaming.

I just need to leave.
I want to throw away this life
I no longer believe.
I pick up the knife.

Is this what I want?
Am I being selfish?
This is not what my family wants.
Can I leave the people I cherish?

I just needed someone,
To help me escape my own mind
But it's too late I'm gone.
All I needed was someone to be kind.

I know now of something.
forgotten along the way,
I took advantage of a love given
And in the end taken.

Learning to live without,
Lonely nights and crying out
Empty heart, I took a shot
I reached out and prayed the love remained

You are the beauty of life
I know now
And now I can never forget.
I love you