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 Aug 2015 Taya
NitaAnn
Let's reflect today
This "Father's Day"
What have I learned from him:

I learned that I am worthless
Only good for his pleasure.

I learned that people you love
Will hurt and use you.

I learned that women
Are *** toys to be abused.

I learned to keep my mouth shut and not cry
If was only worse if you cried.

I learned how to lie there and pretend
So he could get his pleasure.

I learned that I am broken
Broken by his fists and words.

I learned that I will never be good enough
For his love and respect.

I learned that I am to be seen and not heard
Unless you want to be beaten senseless.

I learned that nobody should be trusted
Everybody lies and uses.


These are the lessons I have learned from "Daddy"
Lessons I don't wish for any little girl to have to learn.

Happy Father's Day to the worst father alive.
May you rot in hell someday!
 Aug 2015 Taya
NitaAnn
Broken, Again
 Aug 2015 Taya
NitaAnn
I try so hard to not let him win
But then the letter or call comes
And I am right back there again
Under his control.

Feeling lost and hurting
Wanting all the pain to leave.

My head hurts
My heart is broken
I am a mess.

I cannot function like this anymore
I am done

He has ruined my day....again.

Happy Birthday to me
He's back.
 Aug 2015 Taya
NitaAnn
Puppet Master
 Aug 2015 Taya
NitaAnn
I am his little puppet
He calls, I run
He hits, I break
He touches, I cringe and endure
He controls me

He controls my spirit
He controls my mind

I try to untie the strings
And be a real person
But each time I slip one off
He is right back to tie it on tighter.

The puppet master
He beckons for me
He wants to see me dance
I dance for him
With silent tears
rolling down my cheeks.
Wishing I could take a string and wrap it around my neck.
 Aug 2015 Taya
ms reluctance
Enigma
 Aug 2015 Taya
ms reluctance
Something about her
makes you curious.

Her beauty
turns many heads
as she glides across a room.
Her laugh,
a mellifluous sound,
envelopes you like mist
on a winter morning.
She has pearly, neat handwriting
that leans in a different direction
every other day.

She is also kind.
An incorrigible affinity to broken wings,
she likes to fix people
and their problems (on occasion).
Is her heart full of compassion?
Or is she trying to escape
her own life by finding the solution
to any problem
other than her own?
NaPoWriMo Day #18
Poetry form: Free verse
 Aug 2015 Taya
Virianna Gallardo
You are a puzzle
A conundrum
An unsolvable enigma
I cannot figure you out
Cannot understand you
And I love that
My lovely enigma
About an old, unrequited, love of mine
 Aug 2015 Taya
Camellia-Japonica
Cloaked in anonimity she walks the halls
Cloaked in solitude and an aura that repels
She walks in heels, clipping the wooden floor
She is an enigma, she is known, she is the girl that no one knows
Knowing her is a privilege, it means she acknowledges you
You, look at the long hair dyed to hide, her lips painted to entice and repel.

The blood red lips, black hair, heels and sneers, cloak her
Talk to her and she may answer, she may just walk on
Ignoring the occasional stare she melts into herself
*****, is whispered, she inwardly smiles, searching for a face
She wants to be new. She wants to be herself.
She wants to be alone, she wants to be in a group
She wants to be somewhere new.
She wants to be with him, but, she never will
She knows the meaning of being lonely
It's her cloak.
© JLB
 Aug 2015 Taya
NitaAnn
Cut Cut Cut
 Aug 2015 Taya
NitaAnn
Anger
Frustration
Scared
Lonely
Afraid
Hatred
Loathing**
So with these thoughts fueling my actions,
I make the conscious decision to punish my body.
I feel as though I deserve this treatment.
I cut to scar my body.
I cut to release emotions I had no valve for.
I have no words or outlet for them yet.
I cut to make myself feel better; to alleviate those feelings of hatred.
Cutting is such an enigma for me.
I do it as a punishment, for being weak and "allowing" myself to be abused...
But at the same time, the feeling I get from doing it is strength.
I look at the cuts and think, *"Wow. I was able to endure that. I am strong."
 Aug 2015 Taya
Jo
He Wrote Me Poems
 Aug 2015 Taya
Jo
He wrote me poems,
his heart on a page
filled with black
covered in syllables longing to reach me.
My heart was open,
raw and forced,
by the claws of heartache.
His words felt like liquor,
stinging the scrapes,
then numbing my heart,
drunk in the peacefulness of comfort.

He wrote me poems,
but I could not read them.
My mind was elsewhere,
lost in the memories and the hope for a tomorrow,
and
I slipped away,
broke his heart,
the page went blank.

He doesn't write me poems,
but this one is for him.
For every leaf that falls,
I think of him,
every snow that dusts the grass,
I remember him.
I will write him poetry,
to cover up the guilt I feel.
I hope he reads this,
to not understand
the enigma of love
friendship
hope
*im sorry

— The End —