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it wasnt my choice
i didnt want it
i was drunk
i was 15 he was 18
im in high school
i puke... wet pants in the hospital bed
i cry
i cant sleep
i write
i draw anything to destract my mind
i want it to leave myhead
i want the faded demon to leave
no cuts but i want to
no soul but i need it
rapped and called a liar
im tired of it all
i want to be done and nobody will let me
 Nov 2015 Tasia Howard
winter
finally, she became her own inspiration
I bore the bruises and screams
and shattered inside
believing that it was my fault
for being battered to resemble a bruised peach,
berated to resemble an infected wound.
I tried to shield my frightened heart
from his prey like stature
and sadistic mind;
but he was clever,
he didn't let his barbaric hatred get in the way
instead
he repeated the broken promise of love
and abused my battered body
until I could not take the pain
and crumbled into a small bird
with no wings.
 Nov 2015 Tasia Howard
ARI
Eyes
       Fluttering
                      Mind
                              Sputtering
                                               Lips
                                                     Muttering

Hands
          Shaking
                      Bones
                               Aching
                                          Heart
                                                   Breaking

Pain
      Showing
                    Tears
                            Flowing
                                        Sorrow                                                  
                                                  Growing

Nails
        Gripping
                      Skin
                            Ripping
                                        Red
                                             Dripping

Girl
      Falling
                Mother
                           Calling
                                      Life
                                           Stalling

Head
       Pounding
                      Silence
                                 Sounding
                                                Death
                                                         Grounding.



-ARI
Get out of my thoughts
Get out of my mind
I have to forget you
And leave you behind

But every time I see your face
Every time you come close
I'm filled with this awful grace
I try to resist but have no choice

I love you, and I will always do
Although I know you're blind
I know I cannot forget about you
But please get out of my mind
She was a petal. Untouched. Untamed.
She was a beast inside aflame
Half her life she must prove her worth,
Her heart too empty to be considered first.
 Nov 2015 Tasia Howard
ab
Please
 Nov 2015 Tasia Howard
ab
Can someone please tell me
why everything
has to be so
complicated
all
the
time?

Why we overthink those
bumps
in the dark,
we hear our names whispered
from every corner?

Why we think that something
can not,
should not be,
when it really wouldn't
be that bad
just to try
this once?

If you could just tell me
what would be so difficult
about giving it a try
just this once...

Let me hold you.

Let me kiss you
on the nose
and giggle softly
at your dumb jokes.

I'll hold your hands in mine
while we contemplate
the universe,
or anything you desire
because I just like talking with you.

Or we can just sit in silence,
staring at the sky
thinking to ourselves
"This can't get any more perfect."

And that will mean everything to us.

For no matter how many times
I look into your eyes,
or how stupid I feel
writing these poems,
there's one thing that won't change.

You really matter to me.
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