Too much time wasted
lost a lover, lost a friend
so much time gone tell me why did you pretend?
you’ve lost your gaze
do you remember what you saw?
we imagined colorful ways
we promised love would never be lost
all this time now gone
you grew tired of me
everyday love so quickly
became something you no longer can see.

I didn't want to find love-
but then I found you,
and found a love so real.
but then I lost you-
That is why I didn't want
to find love.

Overlooked and under-appreciated
That’s how our love deteriorated
You showed me love how bright it shines
Stood by my side when I saw no light
Through the dark, my broken side
Cried for someone else
Taking all of your pride
How could I have been so blind
Too tear apart a thousand times
Too run away and change my mind
Go back to the love that gave me pain
Wondering really whose to blame?
Love never made her question will he stay
He stayed and stayed
To learn when he should walk away
Where was my heart when you was so kind?
Love I can’t stomach or leave behind
colder days and colder nights seem longer without you by my side
they say ‘at least you’re still alive!’
Not knowing how bad she wants to die
Clutching onto what she had
While pulling her knife out your back
her body frail and the chalk around her white
broken mind like the crime scene you’d Find
Where the last resort was suicide
We stay alive and bide our time
Only too awake to the same disguise
Through dreary eyes I still wish you the best
How could I be so heartless ?

Dear G,
Maybe you'll read this, maybe you won't. It's up to you, really. I don't wanna say I miss you, because it feels wrong to admit that I, in fact, do miss you. I'm not supposed to miss you, I'm supposed to be happier now. But I do miss you. It's one of the most awful feelings in the world, and every day I feel a little worse about letting you go. You're probably already over me, you're a strong person. Although, I still have no idea how you're doing. I know you're still talking to my best friend, but I have no idea how are are or what's going on in your life right now. I kind of wanted to stay in touch with you, but I didn't know how and you didn't seem that interested. I think I understand. I broke your heart, probably. I never meant to, but I just don't know how love works. I think I do understand why it hurts after almost 11 months of dating. I don't regret a single day though. I think I was already gone in my mind, months before. I thought I would feel better with this decision, but I feel lonely, so lonely. I'm not lonely, but it feels like it's growing every day. You don't have to take me back. God, I don't think I'd even wanna see myself again if I did that. I wouldn't take me back. But still, I want you back. I miss the way that the weekend sparkeled a bit because you were there. I miss the way you'd laugh, I miss the way you kissed me and I miss how you taste. Oh, I'd love to taste that again. Well, this is how it is now. I don't even remember your face. But maybe, if you changed your mind, we could be again. Only as friends, if that's what you want. Or you never speak to me again. No matter if it pains me, I just want you to be happy.
Sincerely, yours. Lillie.