I think of you far too often, and even though many people would say that this is a "good" thing,
for some reason I can only find it negative,
as I am planning on leaving soon,
and I am fond of you,
so I do not wish to give you any ideas of false hope,
or lead you on with blatant encouragement,
though I am constantly seeing your face in my mind
when I do the simple tasks,
for example I was putting away my clean dishes
and I saw a glimpse of you
when I opened the kitchen cabinet,
and in that moment I thought you were really there with me,
until I realized that you are actually at home,
probably in your bed like I am right now,
and are you bed sheets black like mine are and do you want tattoos,
because I think that when they are placed properly on the body they can be quite tasteful,
I can't stop my mind from flooding out images of us,
and it hurts me to think
that I won't be seeing you every day,
and I loathe it and I love it and I loathe how much I love it,
make it stop
because I don't think that a world without you would be so bright,
even though you do not think that you should be in it anymore,
but just know that your loss would hurt more then
ten thousand paper cuts.
