I can't believe I've lost you
You were my everything
You left me
Yet you are still here
Your very presence suffocates my heart
I love you so much
But I also hate you
I hate you for doing this to me
For loving me
And then for giving up on that love
You are so close
We still show affection
But yet
You are still untouchable
I can't say I love you anymore
And that's what hurts the most
Because I'll always love you

I want to crack your ribs open
to see if your lungs
are scorched black
from dented memories
you don’t understand quite yet,
from misinterpretating documentaries
and mellow cigarettes.

You,
Or you,
Or you, or you.
But wait--you're far away too.

It's like being in a zoo,
Where "no touching" is something I'll always rue.