I find myself going 95 on the interstate,
I find myself weaving in and out and in and out of traffic,
I find myself feeling almost as untouchable as I felt when I was with you -- almost
Untouchable,
I always loved the way you made me feel untouchable,
You always loved the way he made you feel touchable,
For the first time in a long time there was a man in your life who wouldn't hesitate to be everything you needed,
The sad part is that you thought you needed him,
The man, the one three times your age, who made you feel worth something, the man who gave you feeling,
The one who abused you for years, making you feel touchable all over the place,
Is not a man at all, I promise,
We don't call animals like that men
You were a beautifully broken masterpiece and all I did when trying to pick up your pieces was cut myself,
The taste of my blood was never as bitter as the cheap wine you snuck from your father's fridge,
Thinking maybe if you got drunk enough, you wouldn't hear the voices or feel them coming for your neck,
Thinking maybe, just maybe, the alcohol would fill your bloodstream so full that you would fall asleep and never wake up again, because every morning when you woke up, you saw him,
You woke up with his arms and hands all over you, and he wouldn't let go
For months you crawled over and under my skin, picking at each scrape and scar, trying to find a reason why everything was the way that it was, but you never found it
Much like our love, you never found it,
Like your head, you never found it,
Like them, you never found them,
Like me, you never found me, even though I was looking right at you the entire time
Like them, they'll find me in an explosion of fire, flipping my car down the interstate, weaving in and out and in and out of traffic, taking everyone and everything down with me
The feeling of a rush I used to get just by waiting to pick you up from your house, to the crash I feel when I'm coming down in my room,
The difference between **** and you is that when I breathe the smoke in, it hurts a hell of a lot less than your carbon dioxide ever did
You took everyone and everything down with you,
You taught me to do the same, I learned this all from you
For the first time in a long time, I do not miss you