life was a merry-go-round,
with you around,
seeing you everyday was like getting those bundles of tickets,
from arcade games,

a part of me desperately wished,
that we held hands in the bathroom stall,
i wanted to cuddle up with those comfy arms,
i wanted to secretly send messages to each other,
like it was a cryptic code,

i wish i was the one you wanted,
i wish i was the one that you were bonkers about,
i wish i was the one you were longing to chat to,
it was all just me,

now i get it,
it wasn't me you waved your hand at,
it wasn't me that always received those witty smiles of yours,
it wasn't me that would joke with you during moral class,
it was never me,

i get it,
i'll never be more than a friend to you,
i'll never dare to dream of what could have happened,
what could i have done to ruin this friendship,
to be selfish,
to have you all to myself,

but i'll let you float away,
like a kite,
far away now,
never to be reached by my sight,
because god forbid i fall in love with you again,
and again,
just for my fragile heart to be broken,
shattered into millions of pieces,
superglued by my friendship with you that i'll always hold dear to my heart

Give me a name.
Give me a title that I will only hear,
when it drifts from your soft lips.

Don't call me by the simple name I have now.
A name I never wanted,
nor asked for.

I long for the name
that makes you think of sweeter things.
Like sugar.
Like the sun.

I want the name that comes to mind
when I am held in your sight,
or in the back of your thoughts.

Would it be nicer?
Would it be longer or shorter?
Would my new name be simple,
or a mouthful?

Or maybe I don't want a new name at all.
Maybe I just want you to look into my eyes,
and claim me by the name I have now.

I want you to call me by the name you love most.
I pray it's my name.

Does it hurt when she treats you like a shadow of the millions,
because she’s the light.
Does it hurt, when you realise you only believed you had a chance
while you were just playing into her elaborate dance.

Even if it does,
you keep living
in all the things you never said
hoping that somewhere, somehow
it wasn’t just all in your head.

I know that it stings to know
she knows exactly how to reach you,
she just never does.
But for some reason, the thought of her
still makes my tormented heart stir.

So why the sadness that you’re over
when you never even really began?
Why do I mourn the life we could of had,
when it was never more than a daydream,
now a source of pain.

It hurts me that you didn’t stay,
I feel it everyday,
But I guess what I really want to know is,
Does it hurt you like it hurts me?

his name is a jumble of triangles,
circles and squares
when she wrote it on the first page
of the notebook meant for
her
    
she looked at him
a tray of seasoned fries shared
some old song in the back
singing about love;
of course he would know
    
he would crack a joke
a brief smile meant for her
she wanted to understand it
but she laughed, she was
laughing with him
    
endlessly the sound
replayed, over and over again
before she slipped into bed
and dreamt of a world
they live happily ever after
    
shy & quiet, she was
and he was everything
but
    
again and again
she wanted to know
if he felt the same
so hurry &
don’t leave
hug her before you go

I haven’t seen you in a couple of weeks now
my eyes are drier than driest deserts

I feel like a flower slowly losing my colour and petals
my ears long your laughs
which were never for my humour

like a night blooming cereus
mysterious, unique
and I am just a simple daisy
common, innocent

it’s just a crush they told
can a simple crush change me? No.
but true love can

he loved you for your beauty, who wouldn’t?
meanwhile I loved you for your real beauty

beauty that comes from the inside
like a honeybee I come to the smell of nectar
not to the deceiving colours

please come back
even if you don’t even acknowledge me
your face wakens a part which I never knew
and your smiles and laughs fuel it

all these fantasies breaking away with
every passing day without your presence

I don’t want it to end,
it is the only world in which I can feel love
and moreover where I can love you

I want her, I want her so bad
without her, my life’s like
sugar without the sweet, a flower with no colours

I want to be the nectar inside the flower-her

but I’m just morning dew-worthless
Why, why 
didn’t I love her enough?
in my poems- her; in my thoughts-her
she wrote and even thought but just not about me

even when she wore those diamonds 

only her face shined

asked her what she applied to her face

she replied: nothing 

when she chose that ******* over me 

I was furious

but
why did I love her?
was it not to see her smile?

was it not to see her enjoy?
She is happier than ever-without me
in her happiness my world finds peace
that is enough.

When your shadow touches mine,
that's the closest our souls ever get.

Lovers only from a distance,
lovers only in a daydream.

Our eyes play chase through the hallways,
a constant tag of exchanged looks
from you to me.

Pretend not to notice,
pretend not to care.

But I see you,
and sometimes I think you see me too.

You are the secret sigh,
the secret whisper of my heart.

Imaginary you smiles,
imaginary me believes it meant something.

I build a whole world in my head,
where you reach out,
where you choose me,
where you don't even hesitate.

But the truth is—
you don't know me.
You probably never will.

And all of this,
all of this ache,
all of this hope,
is something I made up.

So I’ll smile across the room,
catch your eye for a second,
and let the dream live a little longer.