Her evening breath

tasted of

cool peppermint.

                                        Her sweetest scent

                                        wrapped around

                                        my fingertips.

Drawing silver thread
from every dream caught
I sew my bones together
into sleep, into knots

I have a reputation
One I wish would go away

But this world has no magic
For that I'd have to pay

I've met my one and only,
I've met him once or twice.

And I know a lot of stories
No single one tells my vice.

Twice I've tried
Twice I've died

running in circles
can't stop looking back
the memory of you chasing me
just waiting to attack.
the key to my heart
was stolen from me.
i just wanna let you go,
but i can't let it be
for a story unfinished
is a torturous thing
until all is said and done
neither can win.
a hand in my face
awakens my mind
and take it i do,
without another glance behind.

"Hey there"

"Sorry I'm so late. She held me up again."

"Oh, it's okay. It was only twenty minutes.. Today should be fun!"

"I forgot something, hold on will you?"

"of course!"
I always waited on him. He was too good to me. He treated me normal. Not like a fragile price of china about to break in a billion peices.

"there we go. If I don't text her in ten minutes she'll freak.. Sorry!"

"aww no haha, you're grand! I get it!"

We walked a little bit then turned into his salon. He shut the doors. It was way past closing time.

"what'll we do today Ruth?"

"surprise me!"

He winks at me... It's not a flirtatious kind of wink. Just a wink to say 'I'm happy you're in a good mood' that's all.

I set my stuff down behind the counter and he leads me by the arm to this dark room with sinks and shampoo in it. I sat down on a chair and he just pressed this remote control and I reclined slowly, and the chair mechanically gave me a back massage... It was flawless. The ceiling of dim lights was wonderful to look at, not too ******* my soft vision at all.

"how's the water babe?"

"huh? Yeah it's perfect!"

Wait. Did he just call me babe or?
He massaged my temples and played with my hair for what seemed like a lifetime.. Neither one of us broke the silence. It was perfect.

"c'mere let's go... I've gotta surprise you. Remember?"

So we walked out of the confined space that would be absolutely perfect for a first kiss... Which never happened.... Because obviously he's happy with his girlfriend. (NOT FINISHED!!!!!)

words tear me a new soul. i thought i discarded mine to the wind when sorrow alighted barely balancing on the barbed wire fence, wings dank and damp, mangy feather dropping into thick dusty underfoot
dusting me off, windex the glass around my innerworkings so you can watch them spin dizzy from your helium touch

My soul is nervous, desperate
My fingers burn with a familiar itch
Ink pushes, trying to bleed out
Frantic to cover the pale white paper

I remember a period of time when I could think about you
and a smile would spread across my face
You were a serendipity
I did not expect someone like you to
waltz into my life
But you came
You were so shy and quiet
As was I
But we could talk about anything
and everything
I was an open book in your hands
I covered my scars
with bandaids
I pulled back the covers
I stepped out of the walls I had built around myself
and I let myself shine for you
I was a piece of paper
and you were the pen
I was a blank canvas
and you were the artist

But those times have long since passed
You left me without so much as a whisper
Although you were a part of my life for a short while
your presence left an imprint on my soul
The paper and pen ummoving, unchanging
Our story unwritten
and unfinished

Kind of like

I've been hit by a wave of helplessness

A feeling of imminent something
that's about to happen

I see it most, clouded in red, when I'm in my room faced with a mountain of "not done yet"

I feel it most when on scales, unevenly balanced and soon to tip

Stay? Go?
Hold on? Let go?

I'm with it most when I see the boxes spilling from every corner of my life

Memories screaming dont leave me
Don't leave me

I live it most when tearing down photos, ripping down paintings,
giving away keepsakes

I taste it in the air when I'm driving with the windows down,
Wind roaring at me, children's rhymes taunting

I can smell it in the foods I eat,
the restaurants I might never see again

I hear it loudest in the words I speak, goodbyes all waiting at the back of my tongue
Yet shy of hellos still to come

I live it when I pack my bags,
zip and unzip my suitcases

I am tortured by it while I consolidate my life down into a single box

A feeling
A valley
A sinking, dreaded chasm

I'm standing on the edge

Of unfinished business