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Here I am with my head held high
Leaving this deserted land
Straight towards those mesmerizing gates
Of wonderland

I don't know how many times I've been through this
These traumatic events are intense
And the pain from electric shock is immense
But the drugs they give
They are truly pure bliss

I never asked for this
But here I am
Without the help of my friends
And it's just me
Dealing with all of this
It's okay though
I'm too selfless
And I didn't want any of them
Brought into my life's mess

I love them
And I miss them so ******* much.
Created by me on March 13th, 2020
Maieutic dreamer, the ecstatic euphoria of cerebral cortex’s ****** matrix is pandemic.  Extravagant exorbitances of flirtatious flamboyance and flippantly flighty flit-ness.  But what of stint-ness snities?  Excruciating exacerbations of laboriously beleaguering hypercritically meticulous tediums.   Synaptic syntax is fervently intense like a feral phrenic frenzied ****.  Ruminating humanity’s collective consciousness gives me hysterical deliriums.  We’re frenetically febrile, atrociously impetuous impudents who don’t know our id conclusion from our impromptu innuendo juncture.  And what of the organizational principles of our subconscious continuums?  Do we only dream about dexterous articulation?  Can we become the agile acuity we envision or do we wallow in the drifty drivel of dour droll’s dreary?  What’s to phatic say about futurity fatidic’s forlorn wanton?  We need chutzpah, moxie savvy’s panache.  Is there no such thing as a universally acceptable ontological deontology?  Probity is as obvious as due yesterday, ethology’s entelechy the omnipresent reward.  Elan vital is not subjective, it’s objective.  Explicating epiphanies of social contiguity’s prospectus so innate as to be irrefragable.  Not perhaps the oligarchies of eclectic synectics, but perhaps the pugnacious audacities of emote to exude aimed imbue.  Assay relay’s convey, foray delay purveys inveigh.  Perhaps if we are all cogently fecund with our vituperatively vociferous the holocaustial cacophony of our obstreperously abstruse will be just what the grotto grouch gumption ordered.  Infusing all with the capability of  aspiring to higher powers and yet not forgetting the mystery of self and others.  I know I know what an ingratiating sycophant on the introjection.  Gambits of alluvium aloof impunity when we all know immunity is Epicurean absurdity, but I already covered that on the phrenic aimed holocaustial cacophony.  Seriously of we all enunciate so on the diction of mesomerism's to punctual.  Why can’t that be the essence of accidence ambience acoustics, the arbitrational attenuation of actuator's aorist.  We are not ethereal, we are corporeally preternatural and the sooner we all learn to respect each other to that the sooner we can get down to the sublimely surreal in oneiromancy’s apotropaic panaceas.
A dream I had about explicating eventuation evocative's expletives.  The amalgamated anathema android.  The cure for pseudopodia interruptus.  At those plastygoop nosed gumby ******* ***** mongers.  Teleportation's telepathic tout will augur the demise of the shallow water scrod ******* dogs.  Carousel ceaselessly ceremony chaos character charisma.  Enigma entity's identity crisis on the futurity fatidic.  Grimacing gremlin greaves and gauntlets gamut catalyst abstracts.
K G Jan 2017
My face blew up at such a casual sight
Every minute is moderated by a memory or concern
The shower's fog clogs my throat, yet it feels right
Because the surface of your heart never embraced mine

There's an opening gradually slipping and wearing thin
I'm freezing to the bone and you're steaming homes
Plucking the pearls and personality from me, inch by inch
And I thought you'd be different
KG. ULTRA II
K G Jan 2017
Time wrinkles the wall
Life smothers madness behind
Everything has an ending, nothing lasts in my life
Telling me that I'm not who you thought I was
To you, I'm just a kid with a name and a price
Bodies against you, as I silently oxidize
KG
J Christmas Sep 2016
Deisaster

Your soft and crooked hands performed your tragic miracles
Raced  away.    left the scene
Gave the magic of machines to  
the fools.
And looked the other way

God bless the rest of us with your ultra - violent rays
Take another rib from her and build a better slave

We could never see the path before us
but then for every step we took
We took one back the other way
Punished every son
'cause mom lead dad astray
Ignorance maybe bliss but a little knowledge is pain

My bitter noxious wanderings left you wanting/ needing control
Plowing up this wasteland
Waiting for the poison to dissolve
I laugh at your commands and let consequences be ******
I chose the lake of fire because your love i repremand

God bless the rest of us with your ultra-violent rays
Take the extra rib from her and build a better slave
Besides the only time we mind you is when we're laying in our grave
I tried to drink your water but copper is all i taste.

The leech prays to me I named and feed him this disease
You smoke my prayers and condemn my dreams
What's all this talk about being free?
Cut out my tongue for blasphemy

God bless the rest of us with your ultra-violent rays
Take a the extra rib from her and build a better slave
If heaven is full of zombies
Just leave me in my grave

God bless the rest of us with your ultra-violent rays
Take the ******* rib from her and build a better slave
We were cursed from the beggining and now all our ends are frayed
  God bless the rest of us with your ultra-violent ways
*Copyright 2016 John D. Christmas
Caroline Lee Feb 2016
I can almost taste you in the back of my throat
Like it or not you are in every word that I wrote.
And. I'm tangled up inbetween the place of wanting you and wanting the best for myself
But I don't know what's best for myself
Just do what's best for yourself
To hell with my mental health
So it's late nights early mornings deflecting warnings with half assed poetry
Most people I know trigger me in some sense of the word
But in case you haven't heard
They're saying I've lost my mind trying to find the love I used to know in myself
back when I knew myself skinny *** kid in the denim shirt
Beaming back at you before I got hurt
back before I learned that the parts that you can't see are the ones that teach you to be
The ideas that we could be inside of reality without fully hating ourselves
And me I just wanted to be something more than the walls I was born into
More than the **** I got into with the kids who turned me into the monster I have become
It's the people we know not the places we're from that define us
And I'm on that ultra light beam
Out singing with the whole ******* team about another man's god dream
The scheme that gleamed in their eyes so mean just trying to find they're own way
And what I'm trying to say is that I want you but I know that it could take me down
And I'm not about to drown in another wasted year
In another ocean of my own tears
This isn't coming out of fears it's coming from the place in me that knows that I was made for more
That I am more than another girl's page from her diary
That I am more than what the people are saying about me
That I am more than what I intend or intended to be
I was blind but now I see
And this is all of me
Ultra light beam
A god dream
Everything.
So yeah I can almost taste you in the back of my throat
And yeah I'm tangled up in that place but I ain't leaving a note
I'm standing up for me
And aI can almost taste you in the back of my throat
I'm tangled up inbetween the place of wanting you and wanting the best for myself
But I don't know what's best for myself
To hell with my mental health
So it's late nights early mornings deflecting warning signs with poetry
Most things I know trigger me in some sense of the word
But in case you haven't heard
They're saying I've lost my mind trying to find the love I used to know in myself back when I knew myself skinny *** kid in the denim shirt
Beaming back at you laughing before I got hurt back before I learned that the parts that you can't see are the ones that teach you to be
The ideas that we could be inside of reality without fully hating ourselves
And me I just wanted to be something more than the walls I was born into
More than the **** I got into with the kids who turned me into the monster I have become
It's the people we know not the places we're from that define us
And I'm on that ultra light beam
Out singing with the whole ******* team about another man's god dream
The scheme that gleamed in the eyes of the teen just trying to find her way
And what I'm trying to say is that I want you but I know that it could take me down
And I'm not about to drown in another wasted year
In another ocean of my own tears
This isn't coming out of my fears it's coming from the place in me that knows that I was made for more
That I am more than another girl's page from her diary
That I am more than what the people are saying about me
That I am more than what I intend or intended to be
I was blind but now I see
And this is all of me
Ultra light beam
A god dream
Everything.
So yeah I can almost taste you in the back of my throat
And yeah I'm tangled up in that place but I ain't leaving a note
I'm standing up for me
And all I want to be
And all that I want to be
The Life of Pablo truly exceeded all of my expectations. Once again the Kanye album I needed came right on time. Kanye taught me how to write and how to embrace my own personal mess, so please excuse this mess of a poem.

— The End —