Wish I could go back in time,
Everything was in a perfect line.

Foolish
Really how did I not know
Every feeling I have towards you is a reflection of something within myself

Of course I don't trust you
I have nothing but doubt for myself
My own thoughts contradict one another
I'm afraid to be proud

I can't remember the last time I felt unabashedly proud
I can remember silently rejoicing straight faced after scoring a goal in a soccer game
Brushing off my teammates cheers and shouts

I can remember trying to let my friends know
I'm just a good test taker
That good grades don't equate to intelligence
Subtly depreciating my own source of pride

Too afraid to have ownership
Of any talent or skill
I'd rather halt progress than be granted attention
I'd rather lose all my skills than have superiors with high expectations

So you shouldn't expect me, really
To be capable of loving you
I'll give too much or too little
But I'll never quite be sure you really love me

when trust has been broken,
and promises were forgotten,
can i love you the same way again?

when dreams were all shattered,
and sufferings were never heard,
shall we start all over again?

when everything has changed,
and your kisses felt stranged,
should you be my home again?


n o,    n e v e r   a g a i n .

a feeble word
weak
in the liars mouth
false
is the promise
called "trust"
so easily broken

but

it can be strong
it can be wonderful,
I'm the protecter's mouth
loyal
promises
meant to be kept

sadly,
i have known both
and false truth is burrowing under my flesh

They gathered at the sitting home
They searched how to get rid of this problem
Mohamad came with new religion

Mogul of his nation hated him
They said he differed between man and his wife
Between father and his love
His son who was grown to be his prop

He differed between the master and his slave
He put their shoulder in equal way
He destroyed the worship of status
Which was great trade at hajj season

They sold the gods of several names
For several ways and calls
Mohamad destroyed these gains

One said we must get him away
The Satan was there
He appeared on the face of the old
He laughed and said
"if you get him away
He will attract them by his sweet talk"

Another said," we must prison at wide prison"
The old said,''
He would make magic and attract them
He might get out
And make force to attack them
They looked with amazing
They said, "tell us our lord
How could we stop him?"

He said as an experiment,"
I see
Take from every tribe a strong one
These men will be forty men
With their strong swords
Waiting him till when he got out
To pray to his God for sun rise
And **** him as one man"

The masters thanked him
Saying," that is a good idea"

His God had another opinion
He told his prophet
Mohamad was known with the honest
And the trust
The masters put their important things
To him
To maintain these, until they demands
He told his cousin
Who was so youth
To sleep on his bed
To mock them
And to return their probity

When they looked at the hole of the door
They saw someone slept there
They thought that he was Mohamad
Before the sun rise' time
The God put the sleep over them
They slept in spite of their wake
Of their high rank emotion

After long time
As the sleeper did not get up
In spite of nearing pray, that was besmeared
After one passed by them
Asking, "whom do you wait?"
They answered at one sound
"Mohamad"
He said he passed by them
He put sands over their heads
They did not believe, they put their hands
Over theirs
They found it is not fault

They entered the home
By force
They entered the home
Without any permit
They found his cousin there
They asked with anger
"where is Mohamad?"
He loved and said,"
God protect!"

when you touch me i am pink lemonade in the fall
your fingers whisper promises on my skin
i believe each one