HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO SMILE?
WAS MY FIRST THOUHT
NOW I KNOW HOW HARD IT CAN BE TO SMILE
TO HIDE THE TEARS IN YOUR EYES...

"No one likes you"
Ow, that hurt
Who knew words could hurt so much

"You're so annoying"
Wait! I just wanted you to like me
I wish there was someone just like me

"I love you son"
Mom, please love me more
Cause the hurtin' they did on me left me sore

"You're so stupid"
I know I am, which is why I act so smart
Don't you know, being fake is an art

"Paul, I love and care for you"
Words I heard in my head
Wish they were real
Is there a person that can make me feel?
Or maybe the pain will never heal

I am
Utterly
Petrified
To open the graves
Of my past hidden in
The deepest part of my being.

For I
Am
Petrified
Once they are out
I won’t be able to rebury
Them before they consume me.

I am
Utterly
Petrified
To release the words
Of which have become rusted
Barbed wire imbedded in my throat.

For I
Am
Petrified
During their release
I will find those words have
Sewn themselves into my tattered soul.


I am
Utterly
Sure
I will not survive
The verbal barbed wire
Demolishing me on its way to freedom.

-ARI