Adjectives can only go so far.
I use verbs and nouns and adjectives.
And so much more.
But I would rather have quality over quantity.
Yes, a clock must stay on beat, or things fall apart.
Only difference with time is that things change, and the ticks are just to keep track.
I can keep track but can I keep track of you?
Do you honestly want to keep track of my time and spend your time making my time tracked?
Lots of tracking but what for?
Are you okay or am I the problem?
Are you okay? I’ll just get out of here.
Only wth you.

And I’m still not sure how I would’ve better inveigled your affection:
If I would’ve been a little less like me
Or if I would’ve been a little more like him

And I’m certainly sure I could’ve come to a perfunctory conclusion by now if I were dealing with a dichotomy
But some things just aren’t that simple
And I guess if romance were rudimentary, I wouldn’t have spent my life whole life searching

And I sure would love to wonder why it’s inevitable that everyone who pronounces their attraction to me for my personality ends up leaving me in the dust for a cheap doppelgänger
But in order for me to wonder, I’d have to truly believe that my personality beckoned attraction..
Perhaps my insecurities have been the silent assailant of my dreams all along

I’m sure I could learn how to be strong and love myself
I’m sure that if I embraced rejection I could find someone who would give me a real chance
But I just don’t have that kind of strength in me today
And when every day is the same **** struggle, I really don’t know if I’ll ever truly have any “tomorrows”

Sometimes i think of
who i once was-
especially the person i "would be"
in my head as a child

who i would be, existing
as my own idea of where
i should be living
and being.

without any real
tools to paint this picture
i made a mess of
my self image.

not then,
but now.

because now i'm not sure if
any of the pictures i painted
were ever looked at closely

standing back equates all my desires
yet up close i begin to fall apart
as my microscopic eyes
tear that which
fell under my hand

It all started with a crush
But I wasn't sure with what I feel
I know I can't rush
Because my heart still needs to heal

Months passed
I finally got through
At last I knew
That I was just crushing on you.