Every night as I go to bed with my conscious filled with remorse and my heart so heavy
I feel like a side of my body cries out in pain, and the other one feels wholly empty
Tears roll down my eyes as if I hadn’t cried enough during the day
Still, I wish there was a way in which I could just make the grief go away

My mind seems clouded with a million things, each of them ripping me apart
I feel so emotionally drained that even keeping up with my sanity seems so hard
Wanting to break free from the shackles of my mind, I now realize I can no longer carry
Carry the fear of futility, the fear of failure, the fear of everything. I just want to spend my youth in a merry

Insecurities forge the unrest I sense within my chest, they make me feel like nothing to the world I could give
The emotions that I have been suppressing have now left me suffocated, my ribs can no longer protect my heart by instilling all the pain, at any moment they might split
And though being thankful for everything I am blessed with, I feel like I don't even deserve a bit
With this constant thought running through my brain cells, I realise that I am slowly turning into an under-watered withering flower, with no desire to live

Breathe in, breathe out
One, two, three—
It’s a necessity.
But I beg to disagree—
It’s a luxury.

Worry about the unknown,
  I do, I do.
Sick with thought,
  I am, I am.

My heart races and I can't escape.
My worried thoughts have taken hold.
My heart is squeezed, suffocated.

A gentle hand
  touches my mind.
My heart unravels,
  until next time.

Plastic seas
               suffocate oceans..

Bottled apocalypse...

Doggy paddle isn't swimming,
It's "active drowning."
The little pieces of information
Learned in the conference room of a YMCA,
Preparation to carry a red tube
And sit in a chair, observing;
To preside over age extremes
Swimming to and fro.

I sit in my chair
Carefully keeping track
As people come in and out of the room.
Someone comes up to me;
I stand up, shake their hand,
And maintain eye contact just as I was taught.
They walk away, leaving me to sink
Deeper and deeper into this chair.