I can't remember how many times I've tried to say no before ***. It was always easier to get it over with instead of trying to struggle.
Confronting him about it doesn't work. I did it once. He told me not to give him a cheeky answer, that I should've said no.
But I did say no.
It scares me that he’s capable of this, that he can find it in him to do this to me.
He scares me. I act like he doesn’t, so much that sometimes I can convince myself I can get through everything. But he does, no matter how hard I try to believe otherwise.
I tense up when he walks towards me with that look in his eyes. My heartbeat quickens, and how I wish it were in a good way. I don’t dare to look at him. Then he makes me look up at him, and he kisses me.
And it begins all over again.
i should have left but i didn't know how to
it's been months but i am still like this
how the **** do i fix myself
