As I lie here dying.
Wonder if I should have kept trying.
maybe I should have held on a little longer.
Untill I grew stronger

But I could see
That there would never be
Any love in my life
Stabbed with a knife
In the heart was the strike
Now it's as dark as night

And my living corpse walked on
Walking in the perpetual dawn
Of all the things that have gone wrong
This is the wish that I will sound
I hope my body's never found
And I just melt back into the ground

Floating on the sea of abnormality
Standing on the bow with so much empathy
And still at the same time watching the skys anxiously
Maybe i am just an abnormality
Because I don't view the world angrily
Even tho what's been inflicted upon me is blasphemy
I see things so very clearly
The fabric of our world is a tapestry
It's woven togeather so perfectly
Only the strongest of us live our time in agony
Those in the abyss view the world so differently
For some of us this is no fantasy
But this doesn't need to be a catastrophe
If you just look at it rationally
In the rabbit hole we learn empathy
While others wander around aimlessly
And on that day we escape gravity
We will be granted amnesty

Sweet like a blueberry
Stronger then the ocean dance
Gentle as the wind
~Myriah P.Y. ~

Such confidence,
To stand as you
Repeling all the cursing
Enduring all the negatives
To be you,
To be different,
Not afraid of the monochrome communities,
Giving opinion that differs from others,
To not bow to the majority,
Just be you.

Haunted by the memories of my past
You seem to devourer every dream
Your face so visible in each nightmare
Stricken by fear…. stricken by you

Your hands have left scares so deep
Damaged I am, and yet I still stand tall.

Drunkenness was your world, pain you inflicted the most
Life was never at peace, for destruction was you love.
Truths you never told, killing everyone that surrounds you.
Your tongue was deadly, and your hands where quick
A victim of it all I’ve been, questionable was your love.

Forgiveness I have given…
Freely so, and without apologies
With the scares so deep, difficult it is to forget.
Difficult it is not to feel,
For the pain is still alive.

Robbed a normal childhood,
Hell it was, with many failing to protect me.
In a dark place I grew up, terrified by your drunken moments
Haunted by the memories of you,
Not hating you at all,
I continue to live.

Sweat swallows my skin
Pain in my chest has burned for ten minutes straight
I cannot stop
One more
One more
One more
always one more sit up
Throw up one more time
Skip one more meal
I have loved boys with ******* addictions and girls who didn't even have the intention of remembering my name let alone be my friend
Yet, I still can't learn to love my body
As I look in the mirror
Salt soaked tears flow down my face
I pull at my skin like maybe if I pull hard enough it'll rip off
My brain is bashing against the side of my heads crying and screaming and begging me to stop
The same head tells me
I'm too heavy
Too big
Too wide
Too this
Too that
let me just say I'm ******* sick of being "too"
I'm ready to gain back my years I lost to calories
Gain back the hours of sleep I lost thinking about how much I ate
Gain back all the times I put myself down just to lose one more pound
I don't know how
But I'm through living in a world of "too"s and "one more"s