I'm Free"
Such a con man convincing me that I was so beautiful, his saving grace,
With his hands, he painted my face,
With make-up I would have to retrace,
I would dress pretty just for him,
I kept my body fit and trim,
Though for real, I didn't know it was a messed up,
I tried to be his best partner, his loving wife.
Shocked and and scared every time,
like it was something new, that just began,
He'd beg my forgiveness again & again,
how I always forgave, forgetting all the prior distress,
just to continue day after day.

Pulling my hair, using your fist to paint my lips the color of crimson red, fearing each time I'd die.
It even happened when you weren't full of whiskey,
I'd have moments of reality,
knowing I had to get out for my babies,
You had everyone convinced you were innocent,
I was the one that suffered your vengeance,
like an illusion, everyone took your side,
they all believed every time you lied.

I have no more shame, no more fear,

I hope that you read this in time

Before your head gets the best of you

And you give in to the voices telling you that you aren't good enough


I hope you see this and remember

That darkness, while all consuming, can't last forever

And that hopelessness eventually turns into hope if you hold on long enough


I hope you know this every time you look in the mirror

That you were born a fighter and God wouldn't throw you anything you can't handle.

And you need to tell yourself this,

Every day,

Even on days you don't want to believe it.


I hope you see that there is so much more to live for

That puppies and babies will make you smile no matter how bad

you feel, so go visit one, or watch some videos, this will help you.

And one bad day, bad week, bad month, bad year is NOT worth

taking your life.


I NEED you to know that things get better

That this is coming from a person who has been where YOU are.

And that I tried giving up when I felt the way you do, and I failed


I NEED you to know how happy I am, that I failed

That my life turned around, and I learned how to fall in love with life again

And no, it wasn't easy

But I NEED YOU TO KNOW

To keep living,

To keep fighting,

To keep surviving,

It is SO worth it


And I need you to read this the next time you feel like it isn't

And then I need you to read it again.

Call a friend, or message me.

Just please keep living,

You are worthy of the love, and happiness, and laughter that life is going to bring you.

You are worthy of living.

Haunted by the memories of my past
You seem to devourer every dream
Your face so visible in each nightmare
Stricken by fear…. stricken by you

Your hands have left scares so deep
Damaged I am, and yet I still stand tall.

Drunkenness was your world, pain you inflicted the most
Life was never at peace, for destruction was you love.
Truths you never told, killing everyone that surrounds you.
Your tongue was deadly, and your hands where quick
A victim of it all I’ve been, questionable was your love.

Forgiveness I have given…
Freely so, and without apologies
With the scares so deep, difficult it is to forget.
Difficult it is not to feel,
For the pain is still alive.

Robbed a normal childhood,
Hell it was, with many failing to protect me.
In a dark place I grew up, terrified by your drunken moments
Haunted by the memories of you,
Not hating you at all,
I continue to live.