I am 17 years old
but have to still ask to go to the bathroom
I am 17 years old
and expected to know what I want to do for the rest of my life
So tell me when this stops
When I am no longer held to a double standard
"Respect your elders
But hold yourself because you
are a role model
and not to be coddled
but could you pretty please put your hand up to go ***
and honestly
can't you see
that your future depends on our needs
I mean fail my test and see where your life leads"
Growing up *****
but so does being a kid
and lets face it I can't be at "home" forever
Mommy and Daddy
will no longer have me
and sadly
the real world is a cavity
for not only success stories
but failures especially
and out there is deathly
so don't tell me
That I'm too young to leave class
but old enough to try and decide my future
without a confidence booster
This situation lacking humor
if only I would have been told sooner
that there is no fine tuner
for the future

We live in a country without the taut and slitting threads of a niqab
So we whisper, Thank God
Instead, we bind ourselves in barely-there strings
Lashing tan-bedded skin.
The pink-and-glitter headlines call GET BEACH READY
And we listen.
We've got to glow in just the right way
To catch the eye of the ever-expectant gaze,
Concealing zits, freckles, and military-green welts,

We brush over the truth about a lot of things.

The taste of rejection is rusty and red
I chewed the inside of my cheek when he said
*I'm just not interested.

The mind of a man
Is not always smart
In the mind of society

The feelings of a man
Must always be tough
In the mind of society

The body of a man
Must be muscular and chiseled
In the mind of society

The mind of society
Is always verbose with standards
In the mind of a man

it’s painful to see how our generation has become so afraid of being judged for eating and gaining a bit of weight that we’d rather starve ourselves to the point of sickness than live healthy lives. so many people bending and breaking themselves over what we have lead ourselves to believe should be considered as beautiful.

it’s painful to see how the word ‘love’ has lost  of all it’s meaning after it has been flung around and stepped on countless times. we have all lost our grasp on what being happy together was supposed to mean.

it’s painful to see how many of us have forgotten the meaning of valuing ourselves; everyone is out drinking themselves into comas, drowning their lungs in smoke and waking up in places they've never been before with no recollection of the events that have taken place the night before.

Oh, man you are so wise, you’re always right;
You always speak the truth and what is right.

You taught me your culture, I have to blend,
I’m scared but tried to live for what is right.

You sang the oldest songs I hate to hear,
My ears are wanting bad for what is right.

You pulled me and asked me to dance with you,
You knew that music’s off, it is not right.

You held me close to you, I have no chance,
To see, to hear, to speak for what is right…

the world is too bright.
i am blinded by false smiles and laughs strained to reach that falsetto note.
that preconceived notion that paradise of the land brings paradise of the mind.
sand is still sand, and water is still water,
less we quantify their quality by purity and color.
sand is still sand and water is still water,
and i am still me.

the world is too bright,
so i filter it into sepia tones gentler to the mind's eye and swim to where the water meets the clouds.
i am drowning,
but not from the ocean's relentless caresses,
but from the world's relentless stresses:
beauty that is measured and calculated,
saturated with standards that burn like the sun and are as intangible as its rays,
a paradise built on sand as quick as it is to judge.    

so i swim to where the water meets the clouds.
where the water is still water,
and i am still me.