I long to write beautiful words,
That convey love and things like birds.
Poetry inspired by life,
Stories and tales of overcoming strife.

Instead, the words flow from darkness,
Metaphors oozing harshness.
Words inspired by pain and death.
Conveying my struggles through every shallow breath.

Songs and ballads about glowing angels,
Not demons and monsters portraying dangers.
Hopefully, one day flowers will start to sprout,
From the dying fire, I only knew about.

Words of life and glittering hope,
Emerging from darkness, my blindness will grow.
Music of old heartbreak transforming slowly,
Echoing through my paper and healing mellowly.

I told myself
I'll change for you
No more smoke,
No more honey

But I ask if you
In my folly
A Christ girl like you
Make me jolly

Come on baby,
Just one night
All I ask
Is that you lay on me

But I know that's foolish
You're too good for me
So I beg, beg I do
That you do this:

One finger on me
And you'll set me free
It'll be a new kind of high
Set my world on fire

I'll stop, I promise
I'll stop, I swear
That today
I'll stop

No more drinks
No more smoke
Is what you ask
That's not hard

Because it's you
Yes you, I'll hold on
And yeah, I did use yesterday
But it starts now

Because I'm trying,
I'm really trying
To change my ways
And set myself for you bae

Ok...maybe just one more
Please, baby let me have one more
All I ask is that I get
Is one more high

Besides, I pleaded
That you touch me
But no, you just want me
To have misery

So please, yes please
Let me set free
Because only my devices
Give me life

I said you're my wife
But you ran away
What a spite
You said, and I recall clearly

"Change your ways
Put it down
Stop punishing me
For your sins.

Because I grieve,
I grieve that you'll be him
The man God promised me
Because I don't recognize you."

Come on baby,
Just one finger
Is all I need
To be set free

Just give me, yes give me
What I need, because
I need you, and you only
To give me wings

God, I got nothing to do
But let me get one *****
Just one would do
Do do do do

Ohh, I'm nothing
But that's fine
Cause baby
I've got nothing to do

I'm just a loner
Playing videogames
Reading boring manga
All day and night

I got a big room
Just waiting for a crew
And maybe a babe
Yeah, I'm a fool

Ohh, I've got nothing
But really man
What can I
Really do?

I'm always in my room
Doing what healthy boys do
I use myself
Since I can't use you

It's honestly boring
It's really sad
That I got a lot
But no one cares

I can do a lot
Let me prove myself
But you won't care
That's only for you and yourself

Oh, I need nothing
Because, man
I used to having
A little or none

Da de da de da dum
La da da de da dum
La la da le da dum
Hum dum dum dum

Hum... I've got nothing
But my manga, my movies
Zines and games
(But maybe I need a babe)

I thought I was your captive
Like being struck through the heart, like lightning, like time
That rises away
Past a roof
And slips across
A higher landscape,
A different neighborhood

A silence that exists only in small noises
The humming of birds, the beach, the buzzing of the sea
The luminescence of another world,
the beat of the heart,
dawn and evening;
falling silent snow.

If any of these sounds open
Do they become roads
Become flowers
Behind walls
That seize the original heart
through some alternate pathway, via some underground stream

Night opens
Like stars
And that
Which is like
The sky
Between you and me
Songs of April
Songs of May

I write stories in my mind—
illusions spun to keep the darkness
in my head at bay.
Stories of victory,
of rising,
of finally seeing.

I write poems that shred my soul,
words spilling raw from the wound.
Each line a whisper
to quiet the screaming child
that still lives in me.

I write songs that bloom with joy,
for others to sing,
to make me feel whole
if only for a moment.
Songs to hold the depression
just outside the door.

I write the words my heart exhales—
laced with pain
and bitter delight.
Each one a scream
disguised as verse,
so I can cry
without making a sound.

Over the years music has played an important role in my life.
When I was upset, I played music to cheer myself up.
When I was happy, music sat by my side and cheered with me.
When I was depressed, music wrapped its cozy arms around me and acted as a close friend.

My shoulder to lean on.
My words when I couldn’t think of anything to say.
The reason why I was strong when everything tried its hardest to make me weak.
The one thing that I will always welcome to soothe me.

The music that graces my ears is as diverse as the colors of a rainbow.
Each one has its own significant meaning
and is a beautiful site to see and feel.
The words of my favorite songs float
from my speakers,
to my ears,
and then to my soul.
I like the songs I like
and I love the songs that I love.

There are many genres of music.
And me being the unique individual that
I am,
I can’t stick to one genre.
if my ears and soul dig a song,
Why can’t I do the same?

The 511 songs on my phone are shuffled.
When I press play, rock music could start the show.
Queen, Fleetwood Mac, Aerosmith, The Eagles, or the Police, or Jimi Hendrix.
If I fast forward to the next song, rap might take the stage.
Tupac, Ice Cube, 3 6 Mafia, Bone Thugs N Harmony, Ludacris, TI, Lil Wayne, Drake, J.Cole.
Pop songs could pop out next.
Michael Jackson, The Weeknd, Sam Smith, Ariana Grande, Lizzo, Doja Cat, Lady Gaga.
R&B would want to follow.
New Edition, Adina Howard, Brandy, Erykah Badu, Aaliyah, TLC, Fantasia, Beyonce, Keyshia Cole, Amerie, Ashanti, Usher.
BTS, Blackpink, or Jay Park might conclude or continue the show.
As they always do.

Each song I jam to is distinctive.
I feel as though no one song is the same as the next.

My phone is the time capsule that contains the treasures to my ears.
I may start in the 1970s and travel to the 2000s.
Or I may start in the 2010s and go back to the 1990s.
Whichever song decides to play first, I will always listen to it like it’s my first time.

Mia J
3-14-2021

© 2021 Mia J

I’ve got
seven songs
on repeat.

They don’t ask me to talk.
They don’t tell me to cheer up.
They just play,
quietly,
loudly,
however I need them.

Vestige
whispers
like a ghost I once knew,
soft, aching—
it holds my breath in its careful hands
and never asks
why I’m fading.

Caramel drips down
slow and sweet,
like it knows my ribs
are tired of holding it all in.
It doesn’t try to fix me—
it just sits,
a quiet sadness
that understands.

When The Sun Sleeps
doesn’t sleep at all—
it screams,
loud, raw, honest.
It bleeds the things I buried
and somehow,
that noise feels more like home
than silence ever did.

Overflow crashes like a wave
right when I thought I was dry.
It drowns me—
but gently,
like rage that remembers
I’m still human.

To The Flowers
sounds like falling apart
and finally letting go.
It’s heavy,
but blooms in the dark,
grief growing
into something real.

Nero Forte fights for me
when I’m too tired to fight myself.
It’s chaos—pure,
relentless—
a storm I can scream into
and still
walk out of.

When It Rains
makes me feel fifteen and fragile,
but soft enough
to remind me
I’m not wrong
for feeling everything
too much.

These seven songs don’t save me.
They don’t have to.
They just stay—
and some nights,
that’s the only thing
that keeps me here.

Have you ever missed someone so much?
That you play their favorite song on loop.
This love is really something you can never undo,
The melody of the song, it lingers through
Etching our memories to the air;
Memories of us hand in hand in the same road…
I open my eyes and you are no longer there.

I play your favorite song to remember you
Every note and word pulls me closer
I feel you so near to me for a moment ;
but then I open my eyes and
the silence reminds me you are gone!

I see the reflection of us;
When we were so lost in the melody
Hands in each other’s, spinning slow
Running, dancing, so breathless with joy
never thinking we’d have to go.

I know you are not here, but your smell;
It still lingers in the air,
in this song, in every sigh
Time can never take your memories from me, my love,
You live in these songs that make me cry.

A thing called love- you used to say
And
Nothing is so sharper than goodbye…
I know you are gone and may be you’ll never be back…
But I’ll always always keep you near…
in this song in my heart that will never die.

Exquisite nightingales songs
Soothe with the intimacies
            Of vineyards
      And Voluptuousness
          Of evening skies

           Midnights moons
               Candles roses
        With exotic poses
             Heavenly silhouettes
               In sweet repose

          Theres a Coolness
                of sweet warmths
           When her Beauty
                          and
              our Love sighs

Reynaldo Casison