Once upon a morning dreary,
On a wibbly-wobbly urban prairie,
I hit the road barely fearing -
As the fool who has no fearing -
And there came a car.


In a sudden, asked is it the end,
I'm not surprised, but how to pretend,
While I am always steering -
Just as badly as the driver's steering -
My emotions behind a striped bar.


Since the moment was so sneaky,
And the car's break creaked up creepy,
At least for the people seeing -
Hearing, if people were ever existing -
And not just imaginaire.


In that second's timeless land,
I had no social expression to send,
Signing to them that I'm living -
Lying to them I'm a human being -
So, I just stood bare.


And behind that timeless scene,
Angry drivers and people were seen,
With me standing there -
A guilty criminal sharing his despair -
A social monster without cover.

What can I say
I'm trying to send a message
A few words to portray
Exactly what's going on in my head
Things really aren't clear
I feel a bit dead
I don't know why I'm here
I need to get up, and get ahead
Outpace them all
Like I know I can
Scale the "impossible" wall
An became a woman
I know I'm strong
I know I'm intelligent
I admit when I'm wrong
(can't find a rhyme but you get the hint)
I'm a critical thinker
I see through the lines
But my mind's beginning to splinter
I'm not actually fine
The world's driving me mad
And I'm feeling homicidal
Then  stop feeling bad
For being suicidal
I don't like it here enough
To put up with ****
Lights out like *****
Don't think I tried well I did
Four times in one year
Guess I really wanna get out of here
I spilled one last tear
And knew death was near
First time I cut a tad too deep
Second time I took a little too much Paracetamol
Next I tried to hang myself, failed and felt like a creep
Then I thought a lot about jumping off of walls
Finally I overdosed
I was home alone
No one knows
It hurt a lot
My life flashed before my eyes
I knew I was going to die
Somehow I woke up alive
And now I'm here writing dumb ****...
And thinking about number five

Do we ever stay strong?
Or do we fall,
To the ground,
Full of,
Dust.
Am I depressed or,
Just young man,
Full of,
Thoughts.
That’s where we felt it,
We’ll die,
Full of,
Thoughts...

...Or is it just a
Sociopathic life of,
Lust?

i spent my life trying to please
someone with a twisted disease
i broke myself down
and tucked my feelings away
to become the person
they wanted me to be
i let myself be watched
through the glass of a two sided mirror
of a sociopath
i wallowed my spirit away
and begged for acceptance
but there’s nothing in the world
that i could do
to let the narcissist know
that i am human too

¨so am i ugly?¨

¨some days most definitely.. others not at all, never in between- except for sometimes.¨

¨what am i right now?¨

¨a happy medium!¨

¨so when do i look my absolute best?¨

¨when you really really try.¨

Who’s soul is left for your to break
The 2 you crushed for your own sake
Away from you, away from me.
peace and space they are free

You tore him down piece by piece
You ripped to shreds all his needs
Meek and small but bold and alive
Now she is gone, do you cry ?

I bet you do when others see
Looking for any ounce of pity
Searching out your next attack
Who’s left the break in your sack

It won’t be me, I’ve learned to soon
You dead to me, soulless lagoon
When you finally depart this place
You existence will dissipate

We won’t worry about seeing you again
Without a soul you will never begin