I am especially shy
Around guys that I like
But I am able to hid
My true feelings towards him
This is done by seeming normal to him
I talk to you,
I make conversations with you
I may not seem affected
By your charm
On the outside
But inside
Everything that you do
Affects me
From the inside out

so please just tell me that you love me
even if you don’t really mean it
just trick my heart into believing you
say it so that I may rest, tonight

I regret moments long gone
They are past
But in my mind they still
Haunt me every waking hour

You cannot pick a fruit once it falls to the
ground
It is lost to you
But it was so ripe some time ago

That moment lost to me
You were so beautiful in the moonlight
But I was shy
And you fell through my fingers

I lost my chance
To know you better
Because I was shy
And could not tell you how

Beautiful I thought you were
All your flaws included
I would have serenaded you all night
To see you smile as you did

My smile reciprocated yours
But mine was empty
Because it lacked drive
I just could not

Get my mouth to move
The smile was all I could manage
A crumbling facade
I guess my heart was weak

I've been rejected before
But those were empty questions
I guess they too still linger
Locking away my feelings

A prison of my own making
Of a shy feeling
Loss of something I never had
Why?

Why can I write what I feel
But not say it aloud
To the one who was to hear it
Why?

Am I so pathetic for not expressing myself
Not knowing what to say
Not knowing if you would want to hear it
Am I?

Maybe when next we meet
In ten years time
I could tell you of past regret
Maybe then I would not regret trying

It was like being too big
Wishing you could disappear
Inside the ever-growing
Crowd of people
As their eyes wander onto yours
While you try to ebb away
In the corner

But much too small
Inside this body
Like it could not contain
All your bones and muscles
Like your skin
Needed to be stretched out
In order to hold it all

It was an awkward in between
Of being too big
But also too small
Of being too much
But not enough
Like being nothing at all
And everything at once