the void
is coming
i cannot stop it
it feels
like a tugging on my soul
i can feel the cold touch of the hands
creeping up my shoulder
trying to pull down
please save me
the world hurts
why do they hate me
why do they hate me
why am i like this
i hate myself
but i hate everyone around me
but i seem happy
what is wrong with me
what is wrong with me
why dont i get help
save me
save me
the cuts on my arms
that are not there
because i convince myself
that its ok
i dont need to hurt myself
but when im curled up against my wall
crying
because the sorrow is overwhelming
i dont know what is wrong with me
what is wrong with me
save me save me save me
please
please
please
please
the fog is coming
the void is coming
the world is too much
its too much
i hate it
i hate it
i hate everyone
i trust one person in this world
but even he will turn on me in my time of sadness
maybe he wont
but i never know
god
what is wrong with me
i feel like i should stop
but the words just spill out of me
like a bubbling can of soda pop
but why do i feel this way
everything in my life is ok
my family is loving
my 'friends'
my dog
my cat
save me
save me
save me
save me
save me
save
me
please

It's been a long journey to find myself..
Dark thoughts and self harm along the way..
Demons scratch at the fragile walls of sanity..
When will I find peace?
When will I be happy?
This dysphoric feeling of confusion..
Who am I?
What am I?
Where do I belong?
Am I her or am I him?
It was so confusing at first..
But now I see.. I am him.. will this make me happy? Darkness threatens me. The demons continue to claw, making me more fragile..
It's hard to pretend to feel..
To feel anything other than pain and emptiness..
But the journey must continue..
For I want to be happy.

I sit with my back to the wall
Hazy gaze on the wall in front of me
In the distance there's cries and shouts
My eyes are falling
My mind is somewhere else
Floating watching someone else
That's not me
Those aren't the words i meant to say
I lied so much I cant tell whats real anymore
Everything goes so slow
Yet the time ticks by faster and faster
Dread builds up in my stomach
Someone asks me for a dollar
But I can't find my voice to speak

"She's the perfect girl" he screamed,
Describing her as the funniest to be seen,
But does he know what the heart hides?
Does he know the art of disguise?
Each day the sun sets,
she's the same broken girl
Who goes home to rest,
"The day surely has been a tough test" she moans imprisoned in painful thoughts,
She has the loudest voice in school,
Alas, at nights she screams and cries without a single sound,
Hugging her tear- Stained teddy bear,
She picks her best friends call without a care,
Voice as happy as ever,
she makes a joke,
Behold, she's alone again, imprisoned in her own hell again,
She remembers each night how the world ripped her soul,
Now her heart isn't a whole, even after several years
She's the same broken girl who cries silent tears

Save me from my remnants,
That flake away
From my soul.

Bury me alive,
Away from those
Who draw me in so easily.

An emotional scratching post
To them is all
I ever was,

Reach inside
My hollow chest
And finish what they started,

For I am nothing but a seed
Traversing this
Barren dirt,

Left only to
My dire thoughts,
Taking slowly my life essence.

The clouds, they overcast this
True face with a
Gilded mask,

As I'm left to
Scream beneath it,
Oh, save me from my remnants.

Stuck in the thick that drags me under
I struggle for breathes, grasping for the surface
The runner appears beyond the drowned
Do you see me?

A sense of familiarity blankets my surroundings
Yet it is shrouded with insecurity
The runner stops to peer into the abyss
Can you help me?

I reach to where the moon and stars used to be
Your conflicted face reduces to fear
Only hesitating before fleeing
Where are you going?

I sink deeper than before
As the runner abandons the gloom
A stream of tears left next to your footsteps
Why are you crying?

Now I am consumed
Now I am alone
And now I am tired
Why did you leave?