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  Jul 9 J
celestine
i woke up sad
you were in my dreams again

it's getting worse
you're everywhere i go

a face i don't know
i recognize

as far as you know
i don't care about you anymore

i can't let you know
it hurts me even more

to see us happy
in a place that's not real
J Jul 9
Have you accepted the horrors you have unfolded?

Or has the deceit you’ve engulfed yourself with now become your truth

For do you know of the monster you have created?

Or do you stand ignorantly as it lays its dread on this world
...
J May 3
Yearning for my release from this life

But petrified to leave my responsibilities behind

What will happen when my responsibilities run dry

For now, I remain stuck in Limbo
Death is upon me
J Apr 14
The day I’ve outlined in my head

I don’t know what will become of my life until then

But I hope I can erase the date

Before I erase myself from this world
...
J Apr 2
They never tell you how much the cuts burn

The way it feels like cigarettes being put out on every slit you’ve created

Arms, wrists, shoulders, legs all raging in a blaze of boiling red

You think you would get used to the sensation, now that the cuts have become habit

But even through the numbness, it always creeps up, burning
J Mar 2
Loneliness sprouts dandelions between the cracks of my heart

The more I push others away, the more the weeds swell

I am the facilitator behind the impurity, I am the hypocrite, I am the burden

How long before my heart is infested?
...
J Feb 19
My skin has become a tic-tac-toe board swarming with X’s
Fresh scars etched as new spaces are uncovered

I am running out of room
I am running out of time
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