Her eyes were tired from crying

About the voice

of a ghost

in her head.

Maybe death is a win.
A win from all the pains
A win from this life of many sorrows and troubles.

Death might not be a win but it's the end of pains and troubles and the beginning of an unknown path.

If there's any ease in death, Rest easy Mom🕊️🕊️

(verse 1 Descovia)
Death keeps ringing
my line and I always
miss the **** call
Through the ice and fire
I can say
I've been through it all
I been on a trip
but can't afford to fall!
Heaven and Hell is fighting over my soul
I'm over here breaking chains and walls!

What's true is true.

Excuse me, I am a leader
So are you, so forgive me if
I am too pushy for what I see
in me, is what I see in you!

Read between the lines
It's not in the context of black and white
understand my pain
when you look into my eyes
I am one with darkness
but you are my light!
Maybe before the realization
Of endless possibilities
remain present for you and me
You will come to  terms the vision
We once created was real!

(Chorus Descovia & (Toby and Ched)
Hustle and motivate
My power must elevate. (Yuh)
The babies can't afford to wait! (No way!)
I be doing my thing
(Don't care if you hate on me)
been putting in nights and days (nights and days)
I will sleep when I am dead
**** burying me 6 feet deep
Burn me like a blunt
SCATTER THE ASHES AWAY!
(SCATTER THE ASHES AWAY!)

[Hook}
Can't tell me nothing ( At all!!!)
When you watch me fall (fall)
I been fighting my demons...
On my own ( All on my own)
My back against the wall
My pain is real....
( Real. Real. Real. Yeah oh. Oh. Oh.)
You gotta
Live, Lead and Learn.
Live, Lead and Learn.
(Yuh!) Live, Lead and Learn!
Put in what you work for
get what you deserve!

(Verse 2 Descovia)
You gotta lot to live for.

A lot to lead.

But I feel like you never learn.


You shouldn't have gave
up on your dreams.
I woulda support by any means.
It's too late to say I told you so.
So all I can say is you shoulda believe!

**** it. I feel like Uncle Ruckus.
I am toxic to myself and my demons love it!

Where you gonna run
with a gun in your face
and your knees are busted?

You shoulda been careful
on who you **** with and trusted

Karma is no *****
To **** with
Look at you now
Rolling around no dutches
Take what you had for granted
in the end you can't even
walk it out with crutches
Who is really this vicious?
You question me, when
Blood lust lives among us
On the contrary....
I want to see the number
in casualities and victims in police brutality, trafficking, smuggling, racial homicide, chaos within genocide
and suicides plummet

My babies are worth more
than what my ******* jobs can budget

You should be at ease  
on going into a public

We shouldn't even be fighting our government

We can't raise our kids on this dumb ****.

I been holding a lot in my mind and stomach.

Drinking and smoking nights to subside the pain
to feel the numbness

Duality is real. Never in my life until now felt oneness.

In all that I have that is troubling...

Why should that be any reason for me

to take away your abundance?

Bite the hand that feeds? Never.

I rather bite my tongue off

and change the subject

You can't have  consistent order with constant obstructions

All my life, I been hated, loved, loveless and hunted.

I just listen to my heart
flowing with the colors of the wind
like Pocohontas

It's no worry to me at all
You pests always be bugging.

I am not flexing my power
but I know BEASTS that never sleep

Take everything you have and turn it into nothing!

To the man who raised me where my own father couldn’t,

Papa… where do I even begin?
I love you more than words could ever express. I will always cherish our time together- even though I will forever hate that we could not have more- and all the lessons you taught me. You were the most sincere, hard working, admirable and loving person I will ever have the fortune of knowing.

You were my protector, my knight in shining armour, my superhero, my rock, my anchor, my confidante, my defender, and my best friend. There will never be a man in my life who could ever measure up to your strength, love and kindness.

I’m sorry I’m not ready to let you go… nor do I think I ever will be. I guess part of me just thought you would be here with me forever. I really wish that were the case… but if it’s time for you to go, I guess I can settle for you being my guardian angel instead.

I also just want to thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for always being there for me without ever questioning it or wavering.
Thank you for holding my hand and guiding me.
Thank you for wiping my tears, hugging me tightly and always knowing how to comfort and cheer me up.
Thank you for protecting me.
Thank you for always having my back and supporting me.
Thank you for all the times you soothed my anxiety attacks growing up.
Thank you for all the nights you spent up with me when I was afraid.
Thank you for your undying love and support.
I can’t ever thank you enough for everything.

I miss you so much. I wish I could talk to you once more. I wish I could tell you how much I love and miss you. I wish I could thank you and apologize. I wish I could joke around with you.

I wish I could have you sing to me- in that god awful tone-deaf singing voice of yours that always made me laugh. I’d even put up with you singing Chicken Talk.

I wish we could have had more time, but I know that no amount of time would ever have been enough. I got you for almost 25 years and I guess that will have to be enough.

I would give anything just to be able to tell you this and for you to be able to hear me and respond. I know you’d tell me not to cry and not to be sad. I know you would tell  me you love me and always will. I know you’d also tell me to take care of Nonna and Callisto, Nova and the kids.
I just wish more than anything I could actually hear you saying those things.

You are my sunshine, papa…

Always, your little girl.

Like a magazine
locked and caged,
in between
sweaty hands
cast away the shells,
cartridges,
the bullets and me
tell it all away
it's just a dream,
just a dream
and hope you're still awake
when the shooting ends.