I fear everything.
The things that have happened and the things that may.
The thoughts that persist and won’t go away.
Like you’re not good enough. That’s and old one I know.
But it’s still a favorite part of the show.

I fear the things I know and the ones that I don’t.
I fear the beginnings and of course the ends and even the means to an end. For those are often the worst.

I fear the bump or the lump or that mass under there.
That skipped beat of heart that none can repair.

The bill that comes due on what once was you.
That time of desires which suddenly expires.

That sentence unfinished stopped in mid stream.
That breathless breath ceasing mid scream.

I fear having to say that although it’s been fun.
I’m incredibly bored and I simply must run.

I fear not giving a **** and I fear giving too much.
I fear being ignored and then longing for touch.

I fear being alone and I fear the crowd.
I fear things I’m permitted and those not allowed.
I fear having too much time and losing what I’ve got.
I fear shoulders so cold and stares that are hot.

I fear not being loved. I fear smothering too.
I fear losing myself in all that is you.

I fear knowing and not knowing as well.
That seems a unique and exquisite kind of hell.

I sit ensconced in my deepest fear
held intimately close, held tightly and dear.

It‘s been with me long and as I near the end
I start to see it is as some misunderstood friend.

I fear I’ve misjudged you such a pity is that.
I can no longer lie here growing sanguine and fat.
Oh, I beg to differ! I can definitely do that!

The piper pipes and payment is due.
He pipes for me and he pipes for you too.

I fear that my fears I may misconstrue.
My fear of me is quite often of you.

I fear being afraid which seems a bad joke
upon which my protagonist might easily choke.

I fear old age and not getting old too.
And the way to stop aging just simply won’t do.

I fear that this poem is not very good.
And that I’ve never been the best that I could.

I find it odd that I'm similar to my bathroom sink
When the lights shine on, the reflection is dull
It'll try to catch everything, a strand of hair, be it brown or gold
But must follow an obligation, so god forbid pink
The hair piles up but the water needs to go down
A responsibility to do so it's forced to go down

I ask for help but told to rethink
When I go back to the drain, the hair becomes wool
"It's useless if it can't function, they oughta be given a scold!
With those worms in their head, they must be sick!
Insecurities, mistakes, failures, and more!"
Criticized even if they've just arrived at the shore

In the pool I think I see mon raison d'etre,
But out goes the hair,
It need to keep working,
Or else it's pushed aside like a crippled mare

Aside the tiers of which she tolls in tears.
Holds her upon her hair.
Crumbled beneath her ***.
With grief out of disconcord.
As she refused to take charge.
But he continued to pounce on.
The pain,  the grief,  the blame,  all she gets on.

His thrusting showed a haste.
And a threatened, horror taste.
Force ******,  isn't that a waste?
Like the itching troubled paste.

Justice ceased to favour
Her cries,  but insult does.
As quick as she's now a *****
A *****! Such inhumane
Justice out-insult in;  our new normal.

Not again will she cry in vain.
Not again will grief runs through her veins.
Not again will she endures the pain.
Because she now stands to be the main.
And ****,  a disheartened effort with no gain.

Fall
I scrape
my knees,
and pick up
my soul

Rise
i breathe
heavy and lose
control

i own the night
i own my dreams
the right to live
my only
scheme

I orchestrate your violent butterflies
Fluttering and morphing into bees with big eyes
"Honey shed your chitin and be mine"
Your guardian angel and savior so divine

The strings of your heart as my violin
My grand concerto hypnotized you to sin
Made me your deity, my boat your place of worship
I welcomed your unholiness aboard my precious ship

Sailed through the clouds and into the stars
Set off on a light-speed expedition to Mars
When we returned to wander the Earth's seas
I found myself a slave to all your pleas

Mistress of this vessel yet so caged and lonely
When did I feed you so much power over me?
She was mine but I didn’t recognize
Tainted and defiled because of my lies

Her body and sails were painted red and blue
To much better suit and satisfy you
Irreverence to your deity, desecration to my shrine
I could only watch while you took all that was mine

A glimpse of land and gardens so close
Sparked a flame of hope in my life of shadows
I sprouted wings and the sun began beaming
Lighting up the rocks where waves were crashing

I raised her sails with one final goal
To free myself and take back my control
With cold confidence, I steadied my helm, directed my bow
Crashed her down like Dawson to Davy in the depths below.