Hannah once again with tears streaming from hazel eyes silently praying, "Oh Lord I need you desperately to show me how to make the best of this situation." Using her delicate hands to cover her face and trying to reason with her own heart. "Josh deserves a wife who can return his love, a wife that can be madly in love with him. I want to be that kind of wife. I want those feelings. I would hate to spend a life time in marriage where there is no love."
Hannah looked down at her hand and remembered his words when he'd given her the wedding rings. "I will wait a life time for you to love me if that's what it takes. I love you. There's no need for you to force feelings for me Hannah."
Regret hit her hard at how easily it seemed when she foolishly gave herself to Jake.
He showed her a different kind of attention that she needed. It dawned upon her right then that Jake didn't love her nor him. She confused it for love. She'd found a stand-in for the attention she craved from her father.
She was more naive but Jake was more crafty. There had been a great hole in her that she thought Jake could feel... an emptiness that only God could fill. Perhaps now she could love Josh as God intended. Now that she set her selfishness aside and forgiven her earthly father and would be right with her Heavenly Father again. She understood love and all of it's honesty now. Maybe it wasn't too late.
A tinge of fear seized a moment making her wonder how she could ever forgive herself. Then questions filled her mind as if to tell this wonderful, loving husband of hers of her betrayal and sin. And if she did would she lose him forever. Wondering if she could keep it hidden from him but if she did how could she feel good about it?
"Oh dear Heavenly Father," she tried once again to pray but only heart breaking sobs came out.
~Author Ven J. Arnold (rough draft).
~(SacredInkedBlood)

I didn't think I could've done it
Talk to my love like that
Told her I didn't want to take her back
Force her away and never look at
I have so many photos of her
I have so many memories with her
I've grown so close with her
No moonlight will ever shine brightly as her might
Her lips alone brought a smile to my own
Parting ways this feeling is above me
I will never find someone like that

I will never be loved by someone else
Like she loved me
So true, I beckon the thought as I crouch on my knees
Is this the guilt that's been itching after cold words left my breath?
Over the phone, I couldn't greet her face to face
To see her with blank eyes as I rejected her
To see her break down harder and justify that she would be alone
Even though I was redirecting her
I told her best friend about our situation and we talked for a long time
I was surprised over how much she invested her own time
You see...I only knew from the perspective of what my love told me
So forever alone I didn't know I had company

Always the one to blame
Quick Draw, pointing fingers it may
It was the hardest decision I made
It was incredibly relieving and still so misleading
I didn't think I would ever say the words I said
I didn't think I could ever let her go
But this is the only chance I have to let her grow
If she wants to change this is the turning point
I hope she can forgive me one day I don't know
I know that she hates me
And I need to do the same thing and let it go.

My gallery is ****!
These are the wars we fought.
My mind is crude!
I was never a party of the light.
The lies had tendencies, so that my
Thoughts were high and over seas
These are my confessions,
I pierced a weapon thru my conscience!

Betrayers in the garden
Always never miss
They know how to kiss
And to be done and dusted
Not like this

Subtle, slow
Like wind weathering away at stone
From longing lonely for millennium
To finally, ultimately, all alone

Never saw the approaching going
Early warning signs came too late
No defining cyclonic moments
No turmoil, lightning tempest, trunk snapping break

Just a wayward calypso breeze
The creaking of a gate

And gone like there never was
Scented garden, harbour, resting place
And the planet in ages past
Had never really turned full face

Towards the sun, into light, into life
In its endless round of space

© Steve Kelly aka kellyocs 2013

I am minuscule.
Shame and remorse lie on my breath,
An ample bed.
Fear overcame me,
And thus I was deceived by my own self.
An abundance of cowardliness,
That lead to pain and suffering,
Continuing ever still.
My mind and will are weak,
But bound by love,
I hope to keep.
Fear,
That I will never be good enough.
Too many mistakes.
Too many slips and falls.
Too many cliches.
Too much dependency.
Too much weakness.
Too much reliance.
Too much regret.
Not enough affection.
Not enough truth.
Not enough surety, confidence.
Not enough time.
I fear,
That I will not grow fast enough.

You're not gone
But living through my veins
So when people ask where you are
I say nothing really changed

Though you're gone
Your memories fill us
With join and pain alike
But that's how we know
That you lived a successful life