im tired of failing people,
so exhausted in causing trouble
so i wonder and think continually
am i of value really?

im tired of being a disappointment
so full of regrets and resentment
how i wish im such importance
atleast just once

We all go,
We all turn and leave this mortal coil,
Our beauty woven into memories,
The ugliness of age will call.

We all fall,
We all fade and wither like a flower,
Our years crumbling one by one,
The finality of it all.

We all forget,
We let go of those we said we loved,
Our betrayel proven in our lies,
The futility of this wretched squall.

TS Lefort 2020

I was once accused of being the devil under a darkened moon on a foggy night

Now, I've met the devil and let me tell you
The devil once beat me with a curtain rack over my back until I bled
Only to pretend it was in the sport of the game

I've met the devil
In fact, the devil used to show my mom love from the end of a fist and in the sunrise after a long night of crying
Would convince her it was in the name of his love for her

I've befriended the devil
The Devil once taught me how to pick locks and marks minding their own business
And to prey on these people, nay,
Opportunities
Like my life depended on it

I've lived with the devil
The devil kept once locked me in a house-shaped-prison before flinging me into the world unprepared, and dazed
Only to blame me for not watching the outside close enough from my foggy window

I've loved the devil
And eagerly, I gutted myself in the devil's name each time she asked me to see my still beating heart
Only to be confused as to why she hated the mess that followed my orders

I've sacrificed to the devil
I've taken my own heart and soul, and impaled them on a blade made of pure jaded spite, only to lay them with all the other hearts I've stolen and pierced
Unknowingly, yet undoubtedly maliciously.

I've kissed the devil
And in that deal I sealed my fate a lifetime of servitude to a soul I helped created
And created a bond with the devil that was forbidden for good reason

I've lied to the devil
Only to have my mistakes return and slash me across the face like the blade that is the sun's beams shedding light on a long night of forgetting problems
No matter how justifiable he claimed I was

I've seen the devil
He watched me from the bottom of an orange tube only to switch his view finder to something he could swim in

And once more, even now,
As it dances on the end of my blunts

I've met the devil
And I've met the devil many times throughout my lifetime
I've met the devil enough times to identify it by smell, or hearing
Despite it coming with a new assortment of blends, a new chirp every time it appears, and a new look complete with me words
****, at one point, it was me

But I know this Now:
I am not (currently),
Nor will I be ever again,
The Devil.

I should have said something.
I love you
Wait up
Don't leave me
I’m sorry

But i didn't
And you walked away


I should say something
Hello
How are you
I missed you
I’m sorry
Forgive me

But i don’t

And you walk away


I should say something if i see you again

But if i do

I already know i won’t say anything

And you'll walk away

And leave me alone

With no one

Nothing

But my own regrets

Don't you think regrets take you far
Don't press more
The past painful scar
Let it heal
The time will reveal