Walking on a brisk fall morning,
I noticed the leaves had fallen.

The colors were beautiful,
What a time that nature decided to fall.

Looking out at the sea of leaves,
One tree stood before a tragic eve.
A storm that had blown all the precious leaves,
forced Mother Nature to grieve.

What could one do when all hope was lost.

Later on,
a warm fall evening,
I dare not say,
as I felt my mind was blown away.

I thought, why must the beautiful fall?
I looked up at the tree,
and saw one last leaf that still had yet to fall.

2020 nears end, still grasping a warmth that does not belong to her. i feel alive with her reluctance to let go. these hands have known no loosening, their pals hollowed from tirelessly gripping onto things as we do words. i don't even remember what are in these hands, i wonder if 2020 does either. we all, i suppose, are at fault here; helplessly bestowing too many promises of life and experience on her shoulders, ignorant to her plans of making a spectacle of us. do not mock me 2020, i walked into you as blind as i was bold. we are all so removed from the envy of earlier years — of age, of divinity, of promises, of all the smiles we knew were enough for the time being. now, there is nothing but the feeling of a wind biting against our cheeks and the bitter after taste of hope. what are our days, our years, our time, truly worth in the end?

The luminous grey undersides of clouds
Travelling a charcoal sky, speak my thoughts aloud
As thunder
                    Reflections of my mind's wandering eye

Ducks upon the surface of a lake
Of man-made run off
What great ripples they make
Diving under, flapping their wings
Without asking I wonder
Why for ducks water is water
Glacial or sewer-bound
Backswamp or uptown reservoir
It's not maker but mark which matters
So why is this distinction so profound to me?
Why Nature's acts
     Do I endeavour to explain
Whereas for man's
     I seek firstly to lay blame?

Heart-Pounding,
Beating out of my chest even.
Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Lips Quivering,
Teeth lightly nibbling the inner lining of my mouth.
Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Clouded Vision,
Constant tears dripping down my cheek.
Deep breath in, deep breath up.

Hands Trembling,
Objects easily slipping from my grasp.
Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Unruly Speech,
Unwanted whispers rolling off my tongue.
Deep breath in, deep breath out.

Limited Oxygen,
Panting heavily in a struggle for air.
Deep breath…

Wait.

Stop.

Think.

Why must we always take a breath?
Why must we be forced to push away our emotions,
Masking them with the habitual action of meditative respiring?
Why must we always breathe in, breathe out?

But are we really disguising our emotions?

Are we not just calming the soul,
Clearing the mind of unwanted thoughts and anxieties?
Are we not just providing ourselves with healing,
Alleviation from the painful memories engulfing the mind?

Yes.

Yes, we are.

So…

Deep breath in, deep breath out,
Quiet the pounding of your heart.

Deep breath in, deep breath out,
Tranquilize the tremulousness of your lips.

Deep breath in, deep breath out,
Stop the flow of your once never ending stream of tears.

Deep breath in, deep breath out,
Relax the overactivity of your limbs.

Deep breath in, deep breath out,
Replace your anxious whispers with peaceful meditations.

Deep breath in, deep breath out,
Rectify your oxygen flow.

Don’t mask your emotions,
Regulate your responsiveness.
Evaluate your situation.
Intelligently weigh your decisions.
Dominate your way of thinking.

Deep breath in, deep breath out.

It works.

I promise.