I held on so tight to the string that was attached to the storm cloud of our relationship. Afraid that if I let go I will not see the sunshine that was once us.

I held on to the smiles of happier times and the looks of love. I held onto the effortlessness of our beginning and the passion in our kiss.

The cloud became heavier and heavier and some helped me to hold on, others begged me to forget.

I found my strength in remembering.

Every red flag that I painted white. All the dreams that died when you left. I remember the wasted time spent on forlorn hope of empty promises.

It took me awhile to realize that I was holding on to a mistake because I took so long to make it, blinded by the fantasy of what we could be. I cannot continue watering a dead plant.

I’m ready to let go of every ‘what if’.
I’m ready to let go for me, for a heart that doesn’t lie and a love I can believe in.

All of those cracks and chips
They intrigue me so

Tell me the stories of your scars
What caused those tear stains

Who broke you so beautifully?
I have to know because I care

You are a masterpiece
Don’t listen to anyone else

But our eyes can't unmeet,
and you can't unwound my heart,
the strings you tugged at.
I'm not the kind of person you keep 
when you let everything just
fall apart.

You were always the first one
to bolt out the door
when the curtains caught fire,
when the faucet spewed dirt
instead of water.

What little light I thought you saw
in my fluorescent eyes,
couldn't get past your opacity
and you just watched them
burn out.

It was always going to end
exactly like
this.

360 degrees
365 days
i find myself back here
a rotating haze
crocodiles in the lake
waiting to strike
i've been chewed
digested and reborn
cycle of life
upon resurrecting, i have a bit more knowledge
knowledge of the world, self and my worth
but it's like the crocodiles are painted red, waving gracefully in front of my gaze
i'm a bull that rams through with everything in my way
hidden and undetected is how most know about their nature
but they're just red flags that i chase without a chaser
i'm tired of being digested and ****** lifeless
i've been resurrected so many times
it's like i have this unlimited energy supply
charging and giving to things that i realize aren't worth it
it reaches full capacity and destroys my circuits
which is why i come back to this space in time
all hazy
burnt out
i've resurrected once again
with more knowledge than before
and now i know not to become aroused to the sight of red flags anymore
not running in loops or patterns
just running freely
here i am, 365 days later
full circle, a human that has learned from the past
that still has more to do
but moving forward with a different pursuit

Skinny is the new perfect
forget the curves you tried so hard to obtain
get thin and you'll be attractive
you have to realize you need to be the same

Welcome to society
no one ever said life would be easy
so chin up and start the dieting
but make sure you're not too ******

wear all the right clothes
but make sure that they show just enough
the right amount to keep them intrested
it doesn't matter if it's tough

They all say beauty is pain
it doesn't matter what you do
do what ever it takes to get perfect
make sure you act like you don't have a clue

Playing dumb is fun
at least until someone get's hurt
but validity gained at all is enough to sustain
even if they mostly treat you like dirt

Don't worry as long as they tell you you look nice
everytime they want into bed
as long as you're getting told
well obviously that's enough said

Ignore the red flags
it's honestly all in your head
don't worry about a thing
it doesn't matter if your fed.