women come in different colors;
and just like rainbows,
they're most beautiful
when they shine

rainbows
make
me
sad

A piece of my heart
Became my little baby
She smiles
Rainbows envelop me
She cries
I hold her
The universe in my arms

Gratitude
The feeling you have
When you win the lottery
without buying a ticket

Gratitude
a smile in your heart
for no reason
or a reason so small
yet a feeling so sweet
Like rainbows dancing
On a snowy night
Amidst sparkling stars

Gratitude is here
Feel her gentle touch

Smile into the sweetness
live in the openness
bloom in the ray
of simple happiness

why do you torment me
when I'm feeling the most satisfactory
I'm feeling like i can touch the sky with my hands
that i am creating this rainbow of potential with massive colors floating through the air to match my soul
you show up and shatter everything

the rainbow that I created isn't an actual rainbow
it isn't all the flurries in the sky like i imagined
but it is a picture
a very very fragile picture that you can shatter so easily

all it takes is a glimpse of your face
a note of your voice
your breathe near me
all it takes is a thought of you and my rainbow shatters
it shatters into pieces that become so small that you can never gather all of them
so when i repaint my rainbow in the sky
my massive colors flowing, abounding with potential
there are always pieces missing
and each time you shatter it there are more pieces missing

maybe i need to stop making rainbows
maybe i need to create something else
i need to take all the pieces that i keep having to recollect after every single time you shatter them
the tiny itty bitty pieces that represent who i am and who i want to be
who i was

i must create a new picture
i must create something new and exciting and bold that recaptures who i am

maybe i should make a glittering sea
i should take my pieces and mold them together like mounds of clay
pushing pushing pulling
pushing pushing pulling
molding
creating

an ocean
i want to create an ocean
glittering bright
it will be made so you can see the rushing waters
it is so real that the picture seems to be moving
up, down
the waves so smooth
but when you get closer they become harsher
they become more frantic
more chaotic
but it is a beautiful chaotic

that is who i am
i am beautifully chaotic

i can transform in the blink of an eye
from that nice girl who's a good friend who you can trust completely
into something more
something more than the nice girl
something more than who i was

because i will no longer be the nice girl
i will no longer be deemed as someone who's just a good friend
someone who's just nice just pretty
just there
standing in the background

I will have my own spotlight
that's right

I will become selfish
i will become maniacal
i will become manipulative

but i will do anything it takes to protect my picture

i sat there for the
longest time.

In the dark-
in that small,
small space and

fabric rustled around me
with every shift and every
movement and change.

I watched, through
the small crack of light,
the shadows
dance and the soles of
shoes pass.

I tried to make sense
of their movements
the sounds that come
out of their mouths.

Their interactions.

After the longest time I
decided to stand up
from the floor
of that small, dark space.

Quietly,
I put my hand on
the ****, and it turned.

I crept out
of that space.
Timid, unsure.

I don't think
anyone noticed.
I'm glad.

I'm still not quite...

there yet.

Rainbows

I love rainbows
I love the fact that I’ve read how they are formed
Yet I select delete to forget it
To keep them magic
To keep the belief that they are caused by the sky’s happiness
To believe that the *** of gold
is a metaphor for love

I love rainbows
because it’s a faith that holds no judgment
A belief that requires no war
A vision that only gives warmth
and creates pleasure
A lightness in the sometimes days full of a dull dark grey

I love rainbows
because they are safe to love
And safety and love are what this world needs the most
If life was lived believing in the magic of rainbows
What a beautiful, colourful and wondrous world we’d be living in.

I love rainbows