The Grass Was Green
Back When The Air Was Clean
        Now It's Dull
        It's Uniqueness Null
        The Chem trails ****
The Grasses and Hills
         Faded Grass
Representing Our Past
A Clean Nation
With No Radiation
         Now We Happily **** The Earth
Our Stay only Curt
         Goodbye Mother Earth
I'm So Sorry It Hurts
One Day The Grass Will Be Green
         When The Human Plague Recedes...
The Grass Will Be Green
And The Oceans Be Clean
          When We Humans Die
          Maybe Mass Genocide?
          Our History Is A Crime
Please Forgive us Mother Earth
           For You were the one that we,
Hurt...

Can’t I just hold your hand
Try to feel your soul inside mine
Relax, exhale, take my final inhale

Drift off to sleep in my arms,
Blanketed in certainty and unattainable infatuation
Make me whole

Fill my fragmented cracks with the cement of your devotion
Tile the rooms of my brain with glass
To see within the deserted halls
see the shadows creeping out of obscurity
see the graffitied window panes,
Covered with initials of lost people

Make me feel alive
Enchant me with your laugh
Douse me with your tongue licks,
Feeling like stinging hornets or a
Tattoo needle crawling across my flesh
Battling the many scars, bruises, freckles, marks
Trace my veins with fingertips of silk

Dance under this canopy of frostbitten ceiling fans
Relinquish power to the earths seductive pulse
Be with me

Conform your broken body with mine and
Feel my sweet tears drip into your abyss
Soak them up like dried up dandelions
Shed them too

When you feel, I feel
Say jump and I’m
not scared of the height
Air is openness and the ground is your arms
Gravitate towards me, my
radioactive body decays
Feel the radiation, the heart wrenching terrors of
unrequited loves that have left me in
shackles designed for thieves

You have stolen my heart
****** it out of its cold castle,
Crystalized by broken promises

Dream me a new day
Enfold me in destinations beyond our reach
And make sure to catapult my shattered limbs and
Flailing body at the sun,
For it shines brighter than me

Need the comfort of your giggle
Tickling me from the inside, invading my digestive system,
Planting seeds of butterflies

Cope with my sadness
I’ll cope with yours
Please
Can’t I just hold your hand.

Radiation treatment
Hurt as soon as I got off the table.
Music therapy suffocated the painful noise.

A pearl of sweat dripped off my forehead
But then a nurse asked,
“What music would you like to listen to?”
A tense grip on my cane suddenly relaxed.

I go to chorus,
I sing with abandon,
While I forget the math test I just took.

We all need our walls
They keep out that which is unwanted

So, you ***** a simple structure of wood

But wood can be burned
And is therefore, insufficient

So, you build it up with brick
Encasing either side

But brick can be crushed to powder
And wood can be burned
And is therefore, insufficient

So, you build it up with granite stone
Encasing either side

But granite stone can be mined away
And brick can be crushed to powder
And wood can be burned
And is therefore, insufficient

So, you build it up with wrought iron
Encasing either side

But wrought iron breaks if struck in the right place
And granite stone can be mined away
And brick can be crushed to powder
And wood can be burned
And is therefore, insufficient

So, you build it up with four-inch steel
Encasing either side

But four-inch steel can be cut away
And wrought iron breaks if struck in the right place
And granite stone can be mined away
And brick can be crushed to powder
And wood can be burned
And is therefore, insufficient.

But then you ponder
The wood
The brick
The granite
The iron
The steel

And you realize
In trying to protect your soft core
In trying to spare others from the radiation that is your uniqueness
In building your fortress
You have isolated yourself

And though you feel your wall
Will always be insufficient

In truth

Nobody
Will ever be determined enough
Or brave enough
To cut away the four-inch steel
To strike and break the iron
To mine away the granite stone
To crush the brick to powder
To burn the wood
And crush the brick to powder
And mine away the granite stone
And strike and break the iron
And cut away the four-inch steel

In keeping others out
You have locked yourself in
Your own private, frozen hell
Of toxic radiation

The ice consumes you
And only you can thaw it
The wall looms tall and dark
And only you can demolish it
You cannot stop being who you are
And only you can convince yourself that you are not toxic

But you were never truly trying to keep others out, were you?
You were trying to keep out yourself

You are your own worst enemy

you loved me
like the way
the sun
loved the earth

you radiated upon me
giving me
a love
i could barely recognize

but then;

your words
filled with deceit
brought waters
i have never seen before

i have come to
realize
what face lies
behind your lies

the waves
know your
deceitful secret
and keep it well

the waves begins
to fill my body
how could one
endure an agony like this?

the waves
in my mind
have thickened
at the thought of you

water fills my lungs
i gasp for each breath
i begin to suffocate
waiting on death's bed

i begin to sink downward
in a effortless spiral
my body is now calm
just like when you left me

my breathing has slowed
just like our recent lack of communication
im must be on a sedation

my corpse has become lifeless
beginning to shut down
piece by piece
the water is a sinful poison

flooded thoughts
run rampart through my soul
scrambled images
i can barely see

screams
after screams
break my thoughts
of you

i will myself
to sneak just
a tiny glimpse of you
a small bit of euphoria left

it begins
to bring an unceasing pain
that my body cannot handle

i start to perish
but;
i can't seem to let go of you
just like you said i would

(b.d.s.)