I think I will keep you
on a shelf,
bright among the books
and knickknacks
You sing a visual song,
a parrot's lament,
but you are too wild
to let loose

The Obstacle

She begins with a tight grip as any pirate would cling to a treasure found. But you are a wild horse who cannot live in containment and though you try, she knows you want to gallop your way out of the tiny fence she built. Derived by her hurting pride, she pushes you away. She acts so cold and uptight as though she does not need you but she terribly does. She torments herself in your absence and make believe in the new life she is building; a happy life free of her attachment from you. Her heart yearns for you and your company but you’ll never know. She’s a great actress and she puts up a great show effortlessly. She’s had practice as early as childhood, she has done this for years.

The Grip

Fate favors your friendship once again. You find your way into each other’s arms because life happens. You are stronger and wiser now, you do not let the small smudges ruin a beautiful picture. In this moment, you are certain to keep this friendship forever. In fact, she no longer sees you as a friend. You are family. She accepts your toxic traits as you have accepted hers. She picks you up from your mess as you do to her. Her father left her when she was young, she felt betrayed and she only knew the feeling of betrayal until there was you. Even when you betrayed her once. You were her constant though she wasn’t yours. She believes you both have ****** families and you are now her rock. Often times when she feels she is losing you, she goes back to the beginning of the cycle until she feels the same security again and again and again. She tightens her grip on you now as she thinks you cannot lose her. She has stood by you and you will stand by her. Always. Constant.

The Reckoning

She is delighted when you are happy but she feels threatened when your happiness turns into something serious. She needs to make sure that she is constant. It is important. She needs to be constant no matter how many people comes into both of your lives. She feels that it is her responsibility to make sure you are with the right person and she will not accept anyone less than perfect. Like a mother giving away her child to the person they are fated to love, she is having the hardest time. But she is not your mother, she is only your friend and her actions will never be understood. She is possessive of the people she loves when she feels the same love back even if it is not in the same amount. People that love her are her treasures. She will cling to them like any pirate would. She will repeat her cycle of push and pull over and over and over only to feel important. She always told people to love themselves fiercely as though she did not struggle to love hers. Finally, the day came where exhaustion conquered love. She blames her heart, her need for attachment and her illusion of constants.

ravens tear at me,
each clinging to their own piece.
rip me endlessly.

If only for another night
My love, you're mine 'till the doom's light

Hideous
gruesomely frightening
I wear this mask,
the devil that I am

self absorbed
and inhumanly cold..

my angry howls do not falter
but you are there,
an image of innocence
upon your face..

the walls break and they crumble

due to the pressure..

of my untamed fists
and fiery depression,
whereas my tears
are the cause

for this disfigured flesh..

my shadows draw you near
my chains enslave you,
struggle as you might..

break apart thoroughly

until you are nothing more than a doll
with black voids for eyes..

kneel before me,
submit your entirety

however..

do not plead
for I will not remove my mask,
and accept a being
so utterly angelic as you are.

I want to possess you.

I want the quivering of your throne,
The trembling of your bones underneath me.
I want beautiful blood to bleed for me.
Reach for me from your place beneath me.

Between my fingers
I want to feel the struggling breaths of your heart,
Pinched veins in your throat,
And your whimper like a sweet ****.
In the dark...the dark.

The dark in my selfish eyes match the night.
The coo in my voice tells you it's fine...
Bruises ruin ruined skin,
I make you mine.

Thin nails along your jaw,
Devil's claw.
Say it now, say it raw:
You are mine.

Never let another come near,
Nor touch you, taste you.
Raging jealousy, I fear.
You are my pet who speaks when I say, my dear.

On the scent of musk, a predator's lust;
I must admit unsettling crime:
I'm tired of watching...
I'll make you mine.

Now beg for me.
Rope 'round your wrists,
Under my control.
You are darling like this.

Teeth leave starved greedy marks,
Labored torn lips and fingertips
Where the sweat pools in the dark...
The dark.

Your possessiveness is just.....
Taming me how to love you...
Teaching me how much you love yourself...
Preparing my mind to hate you...
Please don't feel bad my love...
Inch by inch you are ....

Killing ME !!