I just can't look into your eyes;
I know that when I do, I'll cry.
Oh, I'll try, and try, and try not to lie to you,
But choking on my tears, I can't stay true.

I wish you could be here with me.
I need your rhythms and harmony.
Sure, I can sing on my own,
But I'll wander still, never finding home.

Listen, you know I can't forget you.
Our duets will go nowhere without a venue.
I live my life to make you proud,
But you only ever seem to look down.

I wish you could be here with me.
I need your rhythms and harmony.
Sure, I can sing on my own,
But I'll wander still, never finding home.

I'm sorry if I've ever upset you,
I lie awake in a cold sweat for you-
Hoping, praying, pleading I won't make you mad,
Knowing full-well you'll just be sad.

I wish you could be here with me.
I need your rhythms and harmony.
Sure, I can sing on my own,
But I'll wander still, never finding home.

You truly are my best friend.
I never want our partnership to end.
All good things must come to a close,
So I hope you'll wave to me before you go.

You rang me.
After dinner.
Right after dinner.
I got happy, of course.
And I asked why you were calling.
You said you had to tell me something.

My brain, made the connections very fast:
You talked with him during dinner.
You left him.
Yes.
You left him.
The back of my mind was still calling me stupid.
After all, it would be nonsense if you left him. Totally nonsense.

Still, for once, I didn’t listen to the sane and truthful voice in the back of my mind.
I was laughing,
Smiling,
And hoping.
I wanted it to be.
Please,
Tell me,
You left him.
You left him.
Tell me.
And then you say:

“I wanted to see you smile.”

Of course you do.
Of course that was it.
After all, it would be nonsense if you left him.

“I have to talk in a lower tone, because... you know... I’m not alone.”

Of course I know.
Of course you have to talk in a lower tone.
After all, it would be nonsense if you left him.

I say you are sweet.
You indeed are.
And I smile, and say:

“My heart is racing, and I don’t know why”

Of course it is racing.
Of course I could not mention why.
After all, it would be nonsense if you left him.

And you say that you love me,
In a even lower tone.
Oh please, I cannot even hear you.
He will not hear you, don’t worry.
But I understand, I do.
After all, it would be nonsense if you left him.

I don’t know if it will happen.
After all, it would be nonsense if you left him.
It will never be the right time.
After all, it would be nonsense if you left him.
You will never be ready.
After all, it would be nonsense if you left him.
You cannot leave him.
After all, it would be nonsense if you left him.
Because he would hurt.
He can’t hurt.
I can hurt.
You have known him for years.
It would be nonsense if you left him.
And you won’t leave him.

And that’s ok.

Has anyone ever told you
that you are the most endearing person
in human existence?
Because I think you are.

With your sacred motion
that spreads along my lungs,
with your pretty laughter during
an evident silence.

Haphazard glances at vivid rays,
and your verdant eyes stare  
straight at me, and I feel blue.
I try to hide my
lasting grief and fickle spirits,
I cherish you in many ways.

I keep in mind eternal summer,
eternal bliss, eternal souls,
and our names that changed.

The story's blessed by future prays,
you, my pal, and I
are waiting.

I will tell you something about
Best friends
And good people:
They just don't exist.
And sometimes
You are the worst one.

There are many ways people define their own meanings of it
I’m not sure how many I’ve written so far

Too many to count
to inscribe on each separate compartment of my evergreen heart
Too light to set in stone and
Never knowing how to start

I entered the world enveloped in it
Felt it’s soft embrace in the shapes of two people who taught me how to chase the world from the safety of movies, books and poetry
In the confines of a family tree with a canopy covering a brother older than me living a sea away with a mum who wasn’t mine
But a dad whose blood ran through both our bonded veins

We soon became three
Another brother, this time younger,
Took the position of the constant company I had never known before
After 6 years of waiting with only grown ups and toys to tell my stories to.
Some say love for a family is compulsory
For me it is a promise I feel lucky enough to keep

Then there are families that you unintentionally choose
Pairings where platonic love flows aplenty
friends you keep and sometimes lose
Fast fading but never forgotten
Memories evoked by reminiscent reminders that cast quiet smiles every once in a blue moon
provoked by shiny new conversations with people you hope don’t leave as soon as they arrived
words fail to compensate the connection unseen yet tangible in unspoken exchanges and belly-aching laughter
A place where paths cross and soon merge into the same road with no horizon in sight
But a sunset worth riding straight into

A sunset similar to the same sunrise that guides a heart to realise
Just how far it is capable of falling without intending to
The heart of a girl raised so well on romantic ideals
she convinced herself she fell the right way first time around
So when she fell out, she forgot how to spell it without him.

Until months of cautious practise soon proved her wrong
seeing oceans in unfamiliar eyes didn’t sting anymore
And the fear of letting someone new in slowly subsided with every secret infatuation
The apprehension of the in-between never tasted so sweet

We fall in love with melodies, allow touches to linger on our bodies or construct imaginary fantasies with strangers who pass gently through our timelines
There are chemical concoctions responsible for the pounding in my chest
I have fought with my favourites and which parts I think I like best
But you’re doing pretty well at keeping first place as far as my fondness is concerned.

Although knowing things for definite is where my weaknesses lie
I can say for certain that I am a person who feels many things very deeply
And although it causes confusion and problems and pain,
it’s something I would never change about myself
I think, feeling everything is better than not feeling anything at all
I can say that the word “love” is something that carved its initials into my own a long time ago

It’s always been the one word that never stopped feeling warm, soft, and safe

It’s something I have always seen myself falling into
and curling up inside
while never being afraid to close my eyes

I know it will still be there when I open them.