Often I set my eyes distantly
When in evening the sun sinks low
The weight of the day pressing down

Considering whose vengeance is just,
Who in six days made all I see.
What trial awaits if I vex His patience?

If our days are so shortly numbered,
Meet the night with reel and song
For it would bring needless sorrow
To waste even one.

I first felt the ferrous fissures
Delivering shivering quivers
Down my spine
As each chime took the light
Outside of our present days

Then the shakes grew into tension
My naked, sobering suspension
Was left never to mention
Nor whisper what I needed to say

And when I asked you of this
You withdrew so quick
I only had time to trace the lines
Of your escaping shadow

Holding on to tentative strings
And all the small things
You left for me to find
The same gray forests of signs
And silent ways

Designs you used to craft and convey
With clever ease
Laughter beseeching my thoughts
Silence now haunting my dreams
These memories are now
Presently looming
Cold coniferous trees

It's not as if I can pretend
Like simply taking paper and pen
Could possibly remedy this
When I have to look down forever
At the ink staining my foot
Ankle and wrist

I'm convinced that I created this fate
Because it seems in this picture frame
I'm the one who made a mistake

You carry the hate in your heart
like it's been priveleged to you

My misgivings have now adopted
the persona that I imbue

I faced the other way as we faded
when you withdrew

You suffer daily
and face this struggle alone

Claiming everybody abandoned you
and did you wrong

But you don't lose me
Like I've told you all along

i long for the heavy
                 the warm
                 the calm
         and the regular
i want to submerge
    and to float
    and to breathe
    and to feel
i'm longing to spin
             and to sink
             and to shine
                                   on
    
(19881219)

My gaze remains unrequited
Yet I spy smooth skin without ripples
The smile that arrives when you wave
Your hair that flows about in currents
Yet my gaze remains like statues
My passion seated in cement
Seeing what moves others but remaining still
And how the others, for you fall
As you come and then take leave
With amber eyes a flush in autumn
Yet my butterflies have been grounded
My stomach suspending their flights
So that emotional baggage is delayed