Sometimes when comes sunrise,
I ache like I died.

Something like being stabbed in the heart,
14,967 times with a real dull knife,
Maybe that's what they mean,
When they say love is full of strife.

I need her more than life,
Somedays I let myself die.

I can't - I can't control my heart
When it thinks of you,
It sinks deep - I think it means it's true
My heart, why does it cry?
My tears are wiped, and my face is kept dry
I can't - I can't control my heart

i've held the knife
felt the cold edge of the blade against my throat
my wrist
that tiny voice inside me screaming with joy
'it'll all be over'
'pull the plug!'
i'm terrified of living.
of enduring this ceaseless torment day after day after day
seething, writhing, floundering in an ocean of pain
but the terror of attempting and being left unsuccessful scares me even more.
the fear of failure in every aspect of my life
it comes back and bites you in the back
when you finally had the chance to be free
end it all
it chains you down and keeps you there
watching you struggle
i can't escape it
the endless ******* cycle of self doubt and fear
so i'm still here
seething, writhing, floundering in an ocean of pain.

the clutches of depression never truly let go
you have a few good days
a few fond memories
some laughs, the feeling of loneliness is combatted by warmth
a warmth that kinda sorta feels like home

and then one night you're back in your room again
city lights flickering in through the window
the feeling of dread creeps up in the back of your mind
it engulfs your brain

you swallow it down but it only spreads to your stomach
your lungs
cutting off your breath

suddenly you're suffocating again.
you're on the bathroom floor with the blade in your palm
wishing for it all to be over

just like you were.

In Loving Memory of Annconcillia Bonareri Kombo.
Beside your bed we sat, in silence and prayer,
Hoping for flickers, for breath, for a stare.
The minutes crawled slowly, the darkness too deep,
But you stayed still, in your quiet sleep.

We whispered your name, we begged, we cried,
Held onto hope as the hours passed by.
But this time, Mama, you didn’t fight
You slipped away softly into the night.

No final word, no parting sigh,
Just heavy air and one last goodbye.
The dawn came cold, but your warmth remained,
In stories and memories your soul engraved.

So rest, dear Mama, in skies so wide
We carry your love on the other side.
And though you never turned back to see,
A part of you still walks with me.

Originally  written by Micko.
April.2025.©️
All rights reserved.

These thoughts we have that swirl around in our head,

Sometimes all they do is hurt us instead.

All I want to do is embrace you in my arms, but I must say I find it hard. 

Perhaps in another time, in another life we should, be everything that I know we could.

I know how you feel, I feel it too.
But what your partner think of you.

This is written with love because you know I care
Please tell me what I should do, because I know it's not fair.

Each day, I wake as though it’s my last.
Breath held gentle, shadows cast.
No sudden steps, no need to rush.
My soul stands half-stitched to this earth,
afraid to leave before it’s whole.

And when the night begins to break,
And silence draws across the ache,
Just longing for a little grace.
To leave no mess, no word unsaid.
I kneel  beside my bed and pray...

God, if it’s Your wish,
Let me live to see the next day,
not to escape death,
but to finish what life began in me.
But if I must, my soul You keep,
For I have lived, and I have loved.

And so I wait, both still and brave,
A quiet prayer in each wave.
Because living, for me, is a sacred thing
a wish come true in a trembling place.
Just hoping to rise to one more day.


Written by Micko.
©️ 3.05.2025