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Lizzy K Oct 2017
I walk down halls
seeing all the people
all the individuals who never once dare
notice me
I go home
and see many objects
and realize I feel like just another one of them
I am the outsider,
I live a different life,
they call me
the strange one,
speaking among
themselves, asking
why am I different,
I do not hold
the past,
I glide upon
another wave, the
people I thought
I knew soon walked
past, as the seasons
become endless,
yet the gold
within stays.
AJ Oct 2016
Watching life unfold,
My life.
Powerless to change the way I am,
Unable to control the way my life goes,
No control on this ride through the years.

My life feels like a movie,
The sets made up,
The actors with lines remembered,
The events set to unfold despite me.

I spend the day thinking,
"Don't do that"
"Why are you doing that"

But I cannot stop myself from taking these actions.

I'm utterly without control,
A spectator in my own life,
A watcher from inside my body.
It's a strange feeling and I wish I could change it
It's been a strange series of weeks
mickaela Sep 2016
I know there are others,
                                                         ­                                                        Like me
                         They are there, searching for each other (and themselves),
                                                    ­                                                            Like me
                                                      I know they are slowly learning the truth
                                                           ­      That, like me, they are not like you

                                                            ­                                                          You
   ­                                                                 ­                            Are you like me?
                                                             ­                    Maybe not, or maybe yes
                                                Maybe, you’d like me, because I am like you

                                                            ­                          But perhaps you aren’t
                                                          ­                       Maybe, you aren’t like me
                                                              ­                     And that’s okay too, you

                                                            ­                                 You are not like me
                                                              ­                     And you are everywhere
                                                    An­d its just like me, to want to be like you

                                                            ­                        You want to be different
                                                       ­                       Unlike me, I want the norm
                                                            ­                    I want to be common...but

                                                   ­        If you were like me and I was like you
                                                  You’d want to be me and I’d want to be you

And, like you, I’d be connected
With the world, related
I’d be like you, associated
With the world, correlated

Like you...I want to be “different”
No,weird.....”Unique”?
Like you, I’d want to be “special”
But isn’t that just odd?

                                                      You know what
                                                        Let’­s just stop
                                                        Tiri­ng, isn’t it
                                                      Confusin­g, silly
                                             Foolish, completely idiotic

                                                    Midw­ay, Let’s end
                                                         Let’s just be
                                                        You and me
I have been on both sides of the spectrum-too weird and too normal. When I felt out of place, I wanted to be normal. By normal, I don't mean boring or whatever. No one is really boring, after all. I mean...you know, normal. Normal?
I know, I don't know what that is either. After I became what I thought was normal, I did feel dull and boring.And it was tiring, pretending to be someone I'm not.

The wise voice in my head told me that I was being stupid and that normal doesn't exist and that everyone is weird and blah blah blah. That voice is probably right. But no matter what, I'll always want to fit in. I don't even want to be 'normal' anymore. Just accepted.

Thanks for reading<3
mickaela Sep 2016
Slip out of your resplendence and  magnificence

and break yourself into my suffocating skin
walk around, feel the demon eyes
carving out your back
searching for your heart
to crunch it in their pretty teeth

look through these tired eyes
let them rest on everything you’ve never seen before
heavy darkness choking this illuminated world
you don’t know what to do
because you feel like the world’s just going to go on
dragging your carcass along

sleep walking while everyone’s dancing
on your body, on your grave
because they don’t know that you’re dead

you’re okay, don’t worry
tell everyone that because
you’re hiding nothing
you’re happy on the inside too

but you know no one’s okay
because the truth can’t help us
until you’re paying money
for people to just listen

you’re trying to break out
because you hate being me
tear off your mind and throw it away
you don’t care if you can’t find it later

watch them move and follow them
because they don’t like how you do it
they’re doing it the right way
walk in their line, wait for nothing
have their praises as appetizers
and gag at their curses like aftertaste

and you’re not them, not like them
but you’re just like them
because everyone cries when they’re alone
and no one’s ever okay unless they try hard
and force it into their souls

wanna throw myself away
so someone can come and fix me

because i broke myself trying
trying to transform into you
fitting squares into little round holes
and breaking the whole to make it hold it

you’re tired.
you’ve had enough.
push yourself out
slip back into your own skin
fit your own head back on

and you still won’t  know me.
Reading this when I'm not sad is like watching a video of myself sleeping. : /
Anyway, thanks for reading <3
SweetClementine Sep 2016
My arms pain from lifting myself up.
Everyone is so kind, it's almost too much
to bear. It's overwhelming to think
that they might actually care
about The Outsider.
The "finds a corner so she can hide"-er.
The girl who you think looks sad,
Doesn't smile, or perhaps is even mad.
But no, I am none of these things.
I just feel like my calm nature is hanging by a string.
So really- it's no big deal.
I have dealt with this horrible feeling
for years.
And although your kind words brought forth unexpected tears,
I think I am no longer a blob of grey.
I'd, like to think I'm doing great.
I guess I could put myself out there and interact
but the stress of that alone is enough to give me an anxiety attack
so please- be kind to The Outsider.
But not too kind; you might upset her.
My first HelloPoetry Poem! Please feel free to give me constructive critique, or tell me what you like!
FRED CARVER

3 days after Fred Carver
Was shot dead
In a craps game
We all gathered
At Sparkman’s Funeral Home
For the visitation
I was standing
Behind Fred’s ex-wife Thelma
When she reached into her purse
And dropped something
In the casket
I leaned over her shoulder
And watched a black spider
Crawl up Fred’s face
And disappear in his hair
-Dennis Gulling
Used by permission of Zombie Logic Press and available at the Chemung Shamans outsider poetry slam team page http://chemungshamans.blogspot.com/2016/05/three-poems-from-dennis-gullings-blood.html
gray rain Apr 2016
Everyone here seems to know each other
not like a son knows his mother
but they know each other

and I'm sat looking over
hundreds of people
yet alone I feel

in an unknown city
with people wearing white
people dressed to fight

they fight with swords
but not with shields
in straight lines
is where they choose to shine
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