what's it like living with vitiligo?

it's a devastating nightmare that comes with constant stares and ugly looks.  what is much worse is what they say about you. i once had a partner that every time we fought he would call me awful names. he'd say i was a disgusting creature and that i should be embarrassed to be me. he would always tell me to put on my makeup with people came around, and me, rushing to go put it on so that they wouldn't stare or ask what was wrong. he would say that i'm an embarrassment to be around, that he was only with me because he felt sorry. he'd repeatedly cheat on me with much prettier girls and rub it in my face, and say i'm never going to be just as beautiful as them no matter how hard i try. in all honesty though, i would have preferred that he was like the other people. in my opinion, pretending to love somebody is much worse than being treated differently. i let him fill me up with emotional and sometimes physical pain until i finally exploded. i thought i've finally found the one that truly loved me for who i really was, with this skin condition and all. however some of it is my fault too. i wasn't completely honest in the beginning, i should've told you about my condition. now it's something i tell anyone i'm about to get close to. i wish you would've left if you weren't going to love me the way you said, and i wish i was strong enough to leave before you cause me any damage.  i stare in the mirror everyday and hate what i see. some days i'd be happier if there was a way i could peel off this skin. i haven't taught my self how love the skin i'm in, and i'm scared that if i don't start my son will turn out to be the same way his father was.

so if anyone ask, that's what it's like living with vitiligo. there's my truth. it's something i wouldn't recommend for anyone who isn't comfortable in their skin. love yourself first, fill yourself with so much love that you overfill and no matter how much people about you, your cup will never be empty.

Wasn't it better when we were children and
Fear meant being alone in the dark with six-leged spiders crawling over our neck?
For look at us now, we're all alone, darkness sweeping us in while the strings of anxiety, depression, panic, sadness, insecurity and death traps us in their web?

time heals no wounds
it just gets you used to the pain
such that the pain doesn't hurt anymore

May I say I do have some fears
Like everyone else
Yes, I hate spiders
Yes, I hate snakes
I hate roller coasters
What else do I need to let you know about me
I am a really picky eater
Yes, I hate celery
Yes, I hate tomatoes
Yes, I hate plain tastes
I still have a whole lot I hate
Well whats next
I love my family
Yes, I am the youngest
Yes, My parents are divorce
Yes, I hate 2 cats
I like them more than you can imagine
Well now lets talk more deeply about myself
I hate the way my body is made
I hate that I look more like my dad than my mom
I hate that I am the shortest senior in my grade
But Yes I am fearfully made