I am adrift in shadow when parted from you

existing in a non-life and a non-death
caught between dominions of light and dark

my soul, disincarnate, hangs suspended
impaled upon the sundering hook of an obscene
numinous dismembering of the essence that is Us

twisting and battered in an enervating wind which
moans and wails like the wretched, suffering ******
filling a haunted and dissonant land with anguish
at the midpoint between rivened you and I

all aspects of me are halved, dissipated
I must survive with half a feebly beating heart
inhale for but one struggling lung, choked with ash
seeing only half the sky, half the world

My scattered thoughts incomplete and disordered
I drag myself, mauled and maimed, towards
the next transcendent moment of palpability in Us

Khronos, laughing, mocks all my efforts
drags the hours just beyond my numb fingers

I can only touch you if I reach inside of me

The captain will have been informed
because he says nothing about the situation
and that can mean anything

There are reports of peace
and cleared blockades
I must make choices

while I have a good life here
with my family that arose by itself
in the house that was assigned to me

So I just go to bed now
and before I sleep I travel
beyond the known

Left alone, I move on
...accompanied by echoes of familiar laughing voices
...that conceal the truth from me

...the voice of the guide who prefers to stay at home
...of the soldier in his worn-out uniform
...one of the three of the garrison

...who could be on duty
...who fills the cups and drinks on me
...on the health of all people

...around the tower of Belém and everyone
...at the long table with the empty seats
...from the time they were here with many

Along on foot, over a mountain
path, through a dense forest
I'm running out of food

The brown liquor creeps
Into the gray crevices
Rye whiskey, you win

Please stand by, we're having some technical difficulties
We are dealing with the static disturbance
The colourbars are staring right back at me
What a horrible turn of events

Maybe it's time to cut the act
Everything is ruined in moments
I always infect and ruin everything
No matter the type of event

What if I do them a final favour
And just **** myself?
Let me
Put them out of their misery

My problematic existence has always been a waste
I can never get anything right
This worthless circus monster should be rid of with haste
I can't even do that right

Let me
Put you out of your misery
And end it all
It shouldn't be hard to build you up
By having an eternal fall

I'm sorry, it's my fault
I should cut off my tongue
My skull should be bashed in
My neck should be rung

Let me
Put you out of your misery
Can't tell you I'm falling apart
I am worthless, my opinion doesn't matter
Just hurry up and put a knife through my heart

Thinking of all their time that's been wasted because of me
It's a shame their efforts are for naught
Considering that I'll never amount to anything good enough
I was woth it, back then I thought

When you thought
it was roaring
to scare and to swallow you,
the ocean was
addressing you with love.
With its arms wide open
It drew you closer,
to liberate your filthy sorrows,
to set your soul free
from the weights of regret
and drown to death
your old mad misery.

Let me tell you a story
Of the worst tragedy
When two people who loves each other so much
Yet things will still not work out

Loving you is an art
I might do it differently now
But the essence of it
Will never ever change

I will still wait for you
for i don’t want anyone else
I will never stop being the one
who always wants more of you

I’m still building dreams about you
and if i keep building, maybe
just maybe
our hearts will collide once again.