Warmth, joy, a love so true,
Emotions I never knew—
Not until my soul met yours,
Not until you opened doors.

I once believed in fairy tales,
Foolish dreams that always failed,
But then I saw the way you stare,
And found my home within your care.

You say the words don’t come with ease,
But love speaks soft in moments seized.
Your smallest acts, the way you see
The parts of me I thought unseen.

Your laughter lifts, your smile shines,
A light that feels forever mine.
I’d fight the world, I’d stand so tall,
Just to see you through it all.

I know that nothing gold can stay,
That time may steal this love away,
Yet still, I beg the stars above—
Make you my endless, only love.

For though your lips stay quiet still,
Your heart speaks louder than your will.
And though these words I dare not say,
I’ll love you more with each new day.

I never needed your love,
though it seemed like the thing to want
at the time,
like everyone else was reaching for it
as if it were some kind of fruit
on a tree that only grew for others.

But as it turns out,
I never needed it at all.
It was always mine,
wrapped up in the quiet places
where I went looking for something
I was already carrying,
like a coat on a warm day.

So I let it go—
your love,
and the idea of it
drifting like a balloon in the wind.
Now I stand here
with what’s always been mine,
the love that never asked for anything
but to simply be.

My bra's don't fit right
anymore
My hair is too long and too short
I don't know what I keep it for
My eyes are tired at the sight
but sleep seems impossible

My lips are cracked
the skin is dry
My fingernails are peeling
the feeling is unnerving
My body feels too big like I lacked
the right to be myself

My ego is too big
for the self-esteem I posses
My friendships I've kept
don't seem to last
My hole I continuously dig
has been filled at last

it disgusts me how often i think of you
i would jump off bridges
off trains
off skyscrapers
to see you in the stinging water
in the cold whip of the wind
in the clouds in the sky
your name would be the last sound that leaves my lips
because i never got to say it again
because i said it a handful of times and life decided that was enough
it wasn't.
no, i don't think of you often at all,
because often implies there is an end and a beginning,
but there is no pause when it comes to you
for
you are the beginning,
and you were the end.