Creeping up
A silent foe
Breaking him down
Nice and slow

Crushing all
Hopes and dreams
Bravery fading
silent screams

Fighting on
War and peace
Just to get
A partial release

A little confidence
Suddenly lost,
One step forwards
The ultimate cost

Walls built
A safe distance
Hiding the world
From his existence

A man in a cave
Keeping away
Building the courage
To battle today

Invisible injury
A runaway train
Mental illness
Significant pain

Weakness…
It's how it's perceived
Colleagues find…
It hard to believe

Trauma consumes
His fragile mind
He seeks a spot
That's hard to find

Lack of remorse
Absent support
Pushing him
To obvious thoughts

Away from the public
Away from the noise
Away from the world
He said his goodbyes

Discovered alone
Discovered too late
Discovered the body
Discovered his fate

Tears shed
Guilt ridden hearts
Talking history
Picking him apart

Realisation
Lack of due care
Former colleague...

Empty chair

By Darren Wall

My therapist once told me that-" You are lucky, because you are aware of your problems. You know where you stand and what is troubling you. You also have the ability to explain what Haunted you last night and that is difficult. You also seem aware about what you want out of your life. Your idea of an end result maybe blurred but you are aware of it. "
I sometimes wonder that Most people do not even know what is killing them constantly but they are still living their life. Most people are unaware of their thoughts and what these thoughts mean to them . It takes them their whole life to realise that this is a problem they need to get rid of. It takes them their whole life to understand that this is creating an unhealthy pattern and they are falling prey to it with each passing day.

She also explained that-" The biggest problem you face is walking and acting on the path in between. You mess up in between and lose a sense of the beginning as well as the end. You mess up and panic and lose yourself."
It's so weird that we know that we will have to walk down a road to reach somewhere but our visions are so fainted and blurred that the answers to basic questions are far fetched.
We are often surrounded by several Questions like;
which road to walk upon?
What direction to choose on the road?
Whether to follow the busy road or the road less taken?
What is my destination?
Do I even want to walk right now or just relax and put myself back together?
Do I really want to walk upon this road?
Am I choosing a life I always wanted to live?
Am I ready to accept all the hardships that are coming  my way?
Would I be content and satisfied after giving my all to something?
It's okay to not know the answer of each and every question that comes your way, it's okay to not be able to choose a direction for yourself and decide whether you will be content with it or not.
But it is always important to come in contact with your inner conscience and make yourself aware about you.
It is important to understand your problems and help yourself understand that you are required to eliminate them because they may **** you. Self acceptance is difficult but it is the best gift you give yourself.

Please don’t tell me
“you’re too young
to be tired.”
I’ll be as tired
as I dang-we’ll please.
There are so many ways
to be “spent”
beyond what you see
physically—
weariness runs more
than skin-deep.
So don’t tell me how
you think I should feel,
because you could
never understand.
My brain, it thrums constantly
and drains me emotionally,
in ways that you
can’t fix with sleep.

A. I. Myles   18 June, 2o19 @athenaeumthoughts

Is this what “it” looks like?
The jumbled and frantic mess of
a wit
without constraint-
without silence,
calm, or congeniality?

Is this what it “feels” like?
A tornado of turbulent misconceptions,
strewn about
like leaves on the wind-
peppered with the biting
chill
of crisp droplets,
soaking through to skin and bone.

Is this “just how it goes”?
When the grey and black blanket of night
and sadness and just existential emptiness
cloud the sky.
When the darkness that surrounds encroaches,
blurring the point where the horizon
meets terra firma.

Would the power lines
connecting the neurological
pathways break?
Would the ceiling of introspection
fly off of the supports that so long
held it in place?

What is left when the
onslaught of the brain
brouhaha slows and only the
photographs, the memories linger;
when the dust of duress settles?

What follows when
the final downpour
of shattered expectations
fall,
leaving the silent and still
dejection
that comes at the end?

Is that the end?

Could I wipe the rain from my eyes,
to see the brightening of the day?
Could I see the illumination of the sun
and the clearing of the sky?
What about the curve of crystalline
precipitation, lingering in empyrean;
brimming with a wash of beauty
known only to those who behold it?

Is that the end?
When and what and
where is the end?

- A. I. Myles   30 May, 2019