I wonder if it was you that was afraid
of the light
Or the light in you has completely faded
You chose chaos amongst the fight
And the fields of fire you've created
Still echoes every night
For all the lives you have taken


I wonder if it was you who ran away from us
Or the demons you secretly fed
Finally have taken you over
They misguided you from the right path
And you were so **** grateful


I'm not sure if I want to save you now
You went too far with your vengeance
That pit is no friend of mine
And you don't crave for salvation

I don't know if it's worth my time at all
Searching for a way to bring you back
You never leave a track
And I'm no hunter to be honest


Every tear that I have shed
Shredded the cosmic ocean
Every memory from the time we met
To our last became a wound
I should've treated with care


Tell me, do you still carry the love
You stole as a bittersweet memento
from our once joyful times?
Or you throw it away to vanquish
Your so-called enemies
Who were your family?


At last
I hope it left a savour taste
In your mouth, and I hope my face
To be the only thing you would
Never erase from your mind

That much you owe me,
Don't pretend that you forget
Because you can't compensate
For all mistakes you have made


And when everything come to an end,
I know, my name will drive you insane
The fields are now greener
I won't let them vanish again
And the rivers continue to flow,
Down to its destinations
The mountains flourish with life again
I've never seen them so lively
The vast skies are clearer than before
Not a single trace left of malice
And the sun is shining brighter,
You would've seen, if you only tried harder


If you weren't so blind and greedy for power
Then maybe you would've survived
And spared me the sorrow

Alas,
I wish the love you had for us
Broke through those walls
And reached you out sooner
Because the next time
We gaze into each others' eyes
Only one of us shall survive

30.10.2024

Reach out towards the moon,
Towards the future that is coming soon.
Baby, we can bathe
In this silvery stream
And dance wildly
In our love's fragrant dream.
Come on join me,
Come on join me, babe.

See to the other side of certainty,
Walk down these corridors
With me.
Open these doors and rejoice!
Yeah, ride it, baby!

I want to show you this serpent
Of the eclipsed land,
Then we can penetrate past this pretense
And awake the sleeping city,
Can you dig me?

Come closer,
Can't you see I'm burning,
Moulding,
Flowing?
Let's ride this wave of prophecy
Into the promised land of desire.

let us undress and sail
Naked towards untouched
Eternity.

there used to be a terrifying place i had to go
but you came in with your skyscraper touch, now i have vertigo.
not sick to my stomach, just a little bit distressed
how you would want to see me loved limitlessly and dressed.
these wounds are boils
little coils round my throat
and you look at me long enough for me to almost explode.
never been a volcano, always an accidental surge
now i guess you mean it this time, i will surely self-implode.
never dying alone,
saw you in your overcoat,
we drove twenty miles south to a sweet girl’s house
then, when you saw me falling asleep you said it was time to go.
oh, i’ve never been so carefully watched over,
always straddled the line of being a complete soulless loner.
you are not my owner, when we get much older
do you think we’d be happy with our heads on the other’s shoulders?

why does it seem as if everyone has left me?
my hands quiver as i verbalize these thoughts
and the sweat from my palms dampens the page --
my vulnerability has become difficult to manage,
despite my mind's intent to remain good-willed
and my heart's discontent with the language misunderstood

friendship does not require ideological consistency,
and to believe otherwise is a detriment to the love
we are fortunate enough to experience in this life;
intellectual supremacy equates to the patronizing rhetoric
embedded within the elitism of the morally superior --
your grim clouds turn our progressivism dull

i will say what i need to retain a friend,
but the judgment within is a grudge untouched,
a ghastly bruise that never seems to mend --
you do not get to determine the language i speak,
the words i weep, or the healing i seek
when a bond so potent is forgotten so easily

to question my morality is to question my identity,
and those who know are the ones to see me grow
as i flourish from the bounds of these restrictions
and inch my way upright, stronger than before,
disallowing my words to be misconstrued,
a prohibition of the trauma i continue to elude

a Leo is loyal like the lioness of a pride,
gnawing at the flesh of the ones who betray --
grudges maintained in the chill of the winter,
a midnight breeze toppled an unchanged core --
it is not a star, this dim light retreating above,
merely the fading memory of our platonic love.

Down, down, into the river I wade
Pan in hand, search for the gold of the land,
Little wages am I paid

Day to night,
Don’t say, don’t fight
Pan or pick, it’s better than a stick
To find the find the gold, beautiful and bright
Road to riches and delight

I pan and pan
And dig and dig
Even if it is for a lazy pig
At least it all goes to plan

Day to night,
Don’t say, don’t fight
Wouldn’t want to start a nasty plight
For the rich man's delight

Back is killing me,
But I’ve gotta let it be
Gotta keep it bold
If I wanna find that gold
And bring it right on home

Into the mine with the pick my friend made
To find the glittering gold
Long hours I work, little wages paid
For a little thing to be proud and bold

- Jay M
October 25th, 2021

I'm a candle
Set me ablaze
It's quiet
I know you'll cave

A drop of water
Plummeting to its death
Shadows scream and chant
Draw your last breath

Step after step
It's not getting closer
One moment I'm here
Sometimes I'm not so sure

I've lost track of time
There was a scream
The voice of an angel
Tearing at the seams

A vision of light
Begs me to decay
It takes two to tango
Only one can be saved

Eyes of fury, the first woman
Wrapped in skin, draped with rage
She choked on words, fell to a crawl
Held me close, told me it's my fault

Towers built of sin fall to pieces
I'm chasing after my lungs
Build me up and watch me die
I'm the butcher of goodbyes

Aspect of chaos stuck in glass
Scented of generations past
I had legs, knew where to stand
Before me was the folly of man

Time after time
He follows his dream
As above, so below
It's not what it seems