Time is stretching
I don’t know what i am doing
But i am slipping
Why is no one listening?
The walls are watching me
They’re calling my name
Are my words blind to the ears?

words fall out my mouth scattered
Don’t they?
Must be
Has to be!

Must be the curse given at birth
Forgotten child
Be quite child
Sit down child
Behave
Don’t scream
Pick up your feet
Straighten your back
Clean that paint
Don’t scream
Stay still
Don’t breathe, child

words fall out my mouth scattered
Don’t they?
Must be
Has to be!

I had my head full of dreams
Colours and ecstasy
These pills they make me feel grey
And they take pieces of my identity
Burn them at the corner of my brain
But i am not feeling so good
I am just me and your so many

I am not ready ..

I had my head full of dreams
Visions and blurred reality
These hands they make me feel raw
And they pour tears on my open scars
They open my mouth, let out a laughter
A scream right between my teeth
I am not feeling so good
I am just me and your so many

Just one more hit
Let me drown myself
And you take my body’s suit,
Just one more hit
Ill dose off in a haze
And then you can bury me
In all my favourite colours

I am not sure who i am
Feels like you know your program
I am here floating, *******!

I am here and there
And everywhere
And it’s hard to sleep
There and here
And where every where is

I am nothing
But even nothing is something
It’s exhausting
And quite daunting
Maybe even hunting
Am i rambling?

I apologise
I don’t open my mouth much
My tongue is on a crutch
I apologise
For my eyes
As they wonder off
They like to run around the roses

I am nothing
But even nothing is something
It’s exhausting
And quite daunting
Maybe even hunting
Am i rambling?

The nights, the nights are the hardest part
I cant seem to rest my eyes
The nights, the nights are loneliest of times
Sleep is for the warmest of hearts

The light, i don’t let in
My eyes, too naked
My heart is in my head
My head is in the bin

I envy the night
For the comfort it found
In it's loneliness

When you are up
     you don't realize the pain
of coming down
Because the higher you are
     the prettier the view
and the longer the fall

Stricken, sudden realization
My sense of worth so breakable, so frayed
Your approval, my salvation
Washes over me like a wave.
It's unfair to me, to you
Dependence on your word
Breath held, between us two
As though it's the last we've ever heard.
In and out, up and down
Never quite quick enough
Falling, tripping, to the ground
I never did like it rough.
Water's edge, beautiful and deadly
Peeking at my toes
I always knew you were too friendly
Now it's got me, now it knows.
Knows the tide of my heart
Ebbs and flows
Never could keep up
With those highs and lows.

sleep tastes
like milk tea and cinnamon,
wind-cooled
for maybe fifteen minutes
drowning in sugar
so that your tongue is sweet and numb.

I used to wonder
why you slept so long
plaid covers up to your nose
pillow imprinted
with your crown.

now I know
that dawn often tastes bitter
and the remains of the day
sticky like pomegranate rot
when dusk arrives
like a cool drink in summer
I can finally slake
this thirst for something different.