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You know what happens when for no reason you cry
When you are so tired that tears pour by itself
When you don’t know what you want and nothing to try
When you want to get lost like a snow on ice shelf

Sometimes I want to dance all day to loud music
Listening to hard songs with headphones in my ears
Trim hair, dye the opposite color, to be amusing
Or quietly lie under the blanket watching love films

Or go dancing whole night among strangers
Closing my eyes and feeling the rythme
Could I get drunk like the wayward teenagers?
Next day feeling sick, want to die once more little

Could I go fly to completely different place?
Where no one sees my fears, stay mislaid
Walk between strangers, don't feel to be chased
do not argue with someone, don't persuade

No! You can’t fly away, they’re waiting at home,
You have to be strong, carry this burden
You have to work, have to listen to some
Be adult, no time to fun, youth is murden

You can not wear bright funny clothes
You can not watch unpopular films
You can not dance with your eyes are closed
You can't listen to music that no one knows

It remains to pour tears when it's so hard
Sink to the bottom, so far only dream
True desire can not be strong barred
But it may become easier to scream

Could now I fly to where no one is looking
Be the one who owe nothing to you
Do what I want, to be no one's footing
Just a couple of days without saying "adieu"
Leah May 2020
I can't really tell if its just lust that I have left for you or it's actually love that I'm actually craving from you.
See  I can crave for your presence
I can crave for your touch
I can crave everything that we used to do.
but no matter what it's not the same no more.
Or is it just the love that is dying from me and lust is taking over...
freemindedlee_
I'm trying to get better at sitting with my self
(we’re in this 'til the end, after all).

I'm trying to listen and not judge,
to ask her (kindly) where those thoughts came from.
Whose judgments are being repeated.

It's not that it's a comfortable journey.
She hurls words in poisoned darts,
with wild eyes of blistering flame,
so sure of my faults that
I believe her more than I've believed anything
in our whole life.  

But I know what it's like to be in her body.
So lately I've asked her to sit next to me, quietly,
just for a moment,
just for a pause.

I think it's working.

She's taken to sitting beside me more often these days,
arms wrapped around hunched knees.
She speaks gentler here,
tells me I am scared we are not enough.
But she lets me place a hand on her shoulder,
and remind her: We always have been.

We breathe slowly as we soundlessly observe
the cosmic traffic of shooting neurons.
Of clusters of clusters of memories
and half-said things.

And I'm finding that, after all this time,
I am sitting well with myself.
Broadsky May 2020
you can rest your head, honey, I see the wrinkles of your furrowed brow.

you can rest your feet, darling, there’s no one chasing you around.

you can rest your heart, sugar, no one’s going to break it now.

and you can rest your body, baby, you don’t have to make a sound.
loving yourself isn't an easy thing to do, but with patience and forgiveness the love for oneself will grow.
Nicole May 2020
Chameleon
That's what they call me
But I change so much, I forgot what colour I started with

Chameleon
That's what they call me
I can be anything that they want me to be, but I will be who I wanna be

Underneath it all
When the colours flow
Underneath it all
I'm a rainbow
Underneath it all
There's a place to go
Chameleon
Chameleon

I feel them watching
Yeah, I'll give them the show
They say I'm crazy
But they don't really know me

I hear them talking
But I'm deaf while I soar
The sky is falling
After rains, I explode

Underneath it all
When the colours flow
Underneath it all
I'm a rainbow
Underneath it all
There's a place to go
Chameleon

They wanna build me up
They wanna nip and tuck me
But who I am is enough
I know I'll always love me for me,

Underneath it all
When the colours flow
Underneath it all
I'm a rainbow
Underneath it all
There's a place to go
Chameleon
leeaaun Apr 2020
If you still are an option for someone to choose than darling,
it's better to change your route
as those who love you dearly,
they don't take you as a choice.
Michelle Apr 2020
I only wanted you
To love me
Where I couldn't love myself.
Just love me in all of the spaces that are empty. just love me until I can hold myself together again. You! Your love will take me home.

No.
Home is the empty spaces you are too scared to inhabit yourself.
They call to you.
Eery is the space you do not know. Invite it in.
Offer it tea.
it will call out in a familiar song soon enough
Senali96 Apr 2020
I stood before the mirror,
Thinking how much I have changed.
While the world is turning back on you…
What were you doing all this time?
Why give up now, when I have you, I thought…
When I already know my flaws, why let others point it out…
Suddenly I straightened my back seeing how dazzling I look through the mirror…
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